When I was around the age of five or so, one of my sister’s best friends came to to live with us.  I didn’t know all the reasons why until I was older.  My mother actually went ahead and adopted her legally.  I won’t go into all the reasons for what seemed then to be such a crucial and important situation.  Talking with my sister last night, I explained that I had become a member of what I believe to be a very elite social club for Crossdressers, Transgender, and even me, a Crossdressing Drag Queen.  I explained the forums, the articles, and the many other qualities of Crossdresser Heaven.  I even gave her the URL so she could check it out and read some of the articles and things for herself.  Asking her if she would mind if I wrote this article today, she told me to go for it as long as I left some parts out.  (Us ladies must have our secrets.)

My sister has always been a huge support to me and someone in whom I always have been able to trust and confide.  Even before she moved in with us, she was always on my side.  Every time I got angry with one of my other sisters (I have four), she would jump in and defend me.  It was only afterward that she would tell me to straighten up.  Anyway, as one can imagine, she quickly became my favorite and later my inspiration and in some ways mentor.

I was getting into everything of my sister’s by the age of nine or ten.  By twelve, I think that I may have tried on and worn practically everything she owned including her makeup.  In fact, there were a few things I believe I wore more than her.  Elaine would come into my room and ask me if I had been into her makeup, clothes, perfumes, and other things.  No I would say, why would I get into those things?  My other sisters believed wholeheartedly that I was the culprit for missing things like eyeliner, mascara, foundation, eye shadow and so much more.  I think every one of them had asked me if I was wearing makeup more times than I could count, usually because I had not gotten it all off.  You know how eyeliner and mascara have a way of mysteriously reappearing on your eyes, even when you were sure you got it all off.  She was always so mellow about it whereas my other sisters became raging maniacs about it.  Elaine would always stick up for me though, even when she knew I had done something wrong.  She spoiled the crap out of me is what she did, and I could not help but love it and take advantage of it.  She would take me with her a lot of the time to places like her friends’ houses, the salon (which for some reason I loved), shopping (which I also loved doing), and even cruising downtown in my mom’s car a few times.

It was mainly Elaine who finally convinced my mother to stop having my hair cut after more arguing and yelling than I care to remember.  It was the 70’s and long hair on guys was the cool norm.  I think it had been growing for around two years when one day while at the salon with Elaine, I pointed to a hairstyle on the wall and leaned over to say “I want my hair like that.”  After some whining and fake almost-ready-to-cry signs, she said “Okay, are you sure?”.  I told her I was more than sure, and she agreed to pay have my hair styled for the very first time.  As expected, my mother freaked out when she saw my hair.  It was still long, but layered, feathered, stacked, and had highlights which were pretty much called a frost back then.  She asked me who did it?  I told her.  How much?  I told her.  When?  I told her.  Then she asked if Elaine had any say in it.  I told my mother no, and that I had went and had it done on my own with my own money.  I asked her to quit freaking out.  She thought I would get harassed and picked on by other kids because of my appearance.  She was convinced that I was was doing whatever it took to look like a girl, which in truth I was.  If only she could have seen me when I was wearing makeup, a skirt, heels, and other accessories.  She would have really freaked out.  But once more, I defused the situation and conversation and went on about my way.

My whole reason and point in writing this article are to express my love and respect for my sister, Elaine.  I love my other sisters as well, but I have never bonded with them as I have with Elaine.  The day I chose to confide in her and tell her all there was to tell was one of the most frightful days of my whole fifteen years of being alive.  And tell all is what I did.  Even though I trusted her and knew she would not tell anyone unless I consented, I was scared and nervous as all hell.  I decided that I would not go crazy with the makeup or get dressed like a raging queen, but I was going to be apparent and obvious.

When I walked into Elaine’s room, she looked up at me and said, “What’s up, Cricket (my nickname growing up)?”  I walked over to a chair and sat down waiting for her to say something about the way I looked.  After all, I was wearing makeup, a woman’s pullover shirt, a pair of “her” heels, jewelry, and earrings.  Instead she sat there looking at me, and asked again what was up as though I was not dressed the way I was.  I finally started spewing out everything.  And I do mean everything including that I was convinced I was gay, and that I had somewhat of a boyfriend whom I was seeing on a regular basis.  After about twenty to thirty minutes of non-stop confessions, I finally came to a stop.  Elaine sat looking at me for what seemed to be the longest few seconds I had ever experienced, then finally put her arms around me as tight as could be.  When she finally leaned back and came face to face with me, she said, “I know,” and “It’s okay.”  She shared that she had known for a long time, but would not bring any of it up until I stepped up and told her.  How fortunate I was to have her in my life.  She stood right beside me when I began telling my mother and my other sisters.

That was forty-two years ago, but Elaine and I still remain closer than my other sisters.  She lives in Seattle now which seems so far away.  We talk all the time, but just don’t see one another very much.  My other sisters live somewhere else as well so it seems like I am the only one still here.  I have always been a little more sensitive and sentimental than your average All-American boy next door, and today is no exception.  I feel the tears running down my cheeks whenever we come to the end of our conversations and say goodbye.  I miss being close to her, and not being able to get in the car and drive a mile or two to visit.  She has chosen a couple of professions with which not many people agree.  But I do because it is who she is.  I accept and respect her choices as she has so openly and lovingly accepted mine.  I think my sister knows how much I deeply love and admire her, but I want to tell her again anyway. My sister, I love you with all my heart, and I am truly grateful that you made your way into our lives, especially mine.  Thank you for just being you and letting me be me.

 

 

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Jackie Wild

Jewelry Artisan, cocktail waitress, part time escort.
Hello I’m Jackie. I had a pretty long bio and decided to shorten it up. Most of you here at CDH know me, those of you who are new to CDH I say hello to you and welcome to a family you won’t know elsewhere. I love to talk so should you feel the need just hit me up, I’m here!

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56 Comments
  1. MacKenzie Alexandra 8 months ago

    Jackie,

    You are truly blessed to have such a wonderful person in your life. Your love for Elaine and her love for you is obvious in your writing. Elaine is a special kind of person who is living proof of an adage of which I have always been fond – There are three kinds on parents (family) in this world – biological, legal, and what really matters. Thanx for sharing your experiences.

    Mac

    • Author
      Jackie Wild 8 months ago

      Thank you, yes I have always felt blessed to have my sister’s. Elaine as I mentioned has been my biggest inspiration, support, understanding and best friend. I don’t think it would been alright to have brother’s instead for I think we wouldn’t have gotten along so well especially when I came out.Thank you for reading my article. Blessings, Jackie.

      • Jesse Nicole(Smokey) 8 months ago

        I love this Jackie.. everyone that has the wonderful love and acceptance of a sibling or a spouse is truly blessed! Keep rocking it girl..

  2. Leonara 8 months ago

    Jackie
    What a great story and thank you for sharing…
    Sisters are special.. I have a “big” sister also.
    Cherish your relationship with your sisters, Elaine is one of a kind and There is nothing like family.. Leonara

    • Author
      Jackie Wild 8 months ago

      I so agree, thank you Leonara. Made my day:)

  3. Jamies time 8 months ago

    You are a very lucky girl to have a favorite sister I myself have two and one sister is my favorite I was able to visit with her about my crossdressing and enjoying my feminine side she told me that she was ok with it if it made me happy

    • Author
      Jackie Wild 8 months ago

      She’s a good sister. Support is a commodity and usually pretty tough to acquire for gurls like us. Even when many other’s disagreed with my lifestyle I still felt fortunate and extremely blessed for the support I did have and continue to have today. Thank you for reading my article, Jackie.

  4. skippy1965(Cynthia) 8 months ago

    Great article Jackie. My oldest sister is my biggest supporter and cheerleader a well even though she doesn’t completely understand the CD/TG world. She is respectful, nonjudgmental and loves to borrow my clothes! She told me I have way better taste in clothes than my other sisters do. I know that wherever my future path takes me, she will be walking beside me helping me up when I stumble and cheering me on as I discover and become the person I am meant to be –whoever that is!
    Cyn

    • Author
      Jackie Wild 8 months ago

      What an awesome thing for your sister to tell you, made me smile. It has taken awhile for my other sister’s to accept me for who I am and what I do and we are not as close as I would like to be but they are in my life and for that I am truly grateful for.

  5. Julie Carson 8 months ago

    Jackie, I have always admired how well you carry yourself as a woman and now it is evident why. What a lovely story. You were nurtured as a woman by your sister. You were able to develop your feminine characteristics without fear of rejection. Give Elaine a hug for me. She truly is a wonderful lady.

    • Author
      Jackie Wild 8 months ago

      Geeze what can I say to that except thank you so much. My hope is that maybe, just maybe someone that doesn’t agree with or understand our lifestyle may read it and at least try to give they’re support for a loved one or anyone they know who is struggling. Thank you for yours and your comment you left, Jackie:)

  6. Gini MacRae 8 months ago

    Wonderful!

  7. sergio 8 months ago

    nice lucky you I love of what your sisters did for you nice picture love the skirts nice

  8. Sam Glitter Heels 8 months ago

    This is so incredibly beautiful, thank you for sharing this with us. It’s late so I think this is the perfect thing to end on before I sleep so I can have this in my head when I waje up.

  9. Joelle 8 months ago

    This kind of support is crucial as you well know. I wish all of us had had ‘our Elaine’.

    • Author
      Jackie Wild 8 months ago

      Yes it is and I feel like the luckiest gurl on earth to have her in my life.

  10. Sophie Frenchie 8 months ago

    Jackie,
    What a lovely story of you and the special relationship with Elaine, thank you for sharing that with us. I am sure that having someone so supportive in your life has made a huge difference to your confidence in being who you are.
    I can only admire it with a little envy on my part, but also happiness for you.
    Love to you both and long may you continue to enjoy that beautiful bond that you clearly have between you
    Sophie xxx

    • Author
      Jackie Wild 8 months ago

      Thank you Sophie. You know what the cool thing was when I was writing this is that it made me realize all over again how fortunate I really was/am to have had my sister there for me in such a scary time of my life. Two of my best friends I had then were very much on my side as well. Hope you have a wonderful day.

      • Sophie Frenchie 8 months ago

        I am pleased to say that i now have a couple of people on my side now and think that will make a big difference to me in the times to come
        xx

  11. Gina Delgado 8 months ago

    I too had an older sister who caught me wearing her clothes. She was totally cool and allowed me to wear whatever I wanted as long as I washed it afterwards. After I left home, I would often go out with her and her friends dressed as Gina. In fact she and her roommate enjoyed doing my makeup and picking out my outfits. She was even pretty cool with me when I briefly dated one of her male friends, only admonishing me to be smart and safe. She even caught me “in the act” with one of her male friends but was very understanding. I learned a lot from her, especially how to apply make-up and develop feminine mannerisms, walking in heels, and developing my feminine voice. Today she is one of only a few family members that accept me as Gina.

    • Author
      Jackie Wild 8 months ago

      So it sounds like you were blessed as well, awesome Gina. As for the part about her male friend my sister found out I had been with one of her friends friends and freaked out, not on me so much but him instead haha. I’m spoiled like that.

  12. Yvonne 8 months ago

    That is such a beautiful story and a dream come true for any of us as we blossom and look for a supportive arm.

    I finally have two like sisters whom support me and always have an open ear for the days that i need to talk.

    God bless you Elaine.

  13. Dani 8 months ago

    Great story of support and inspiration. I am out to my 3 sisters all younger than me. However it is the youngest by 18 years who really is supportive. I have been dressed and out shopping with her, suppers in restraunts and she is open to discuss all with me. I am out to my wife and my two children and only daughter-in-law. They are having problems with acceptance and understanding and it has now taken 10 years to get to my wife to accept the underdressing and daily wearing of androgynous clothing and silk PJ’s to bed.
    I have known since age 5 I was different and have dressed secretly up until age 54. I am now 65

    • Author
      Jackie Wild 8 months ago

      One day at a time, one foot in front of the other. You are already a courageous person. Many wish they held your courage and devotion. How awesome that you have so much support. I wish you nourishment and prosperity in your endeavor.

  14. sathisaheli 8 months ago

    VERY INSPIRING TO READ THIS ARTICLE AND FOR MYSELF I DO CROSSDRESS AND WEAR A BRA AND AMUSE IN THE MIRROR I ALWAYS KEPT IT SECRET THAT I WAER THE INNER GARMENTS AND MY DREAM IS TO WEAR BANGLES, ANKLETS AND MINI SKIRTS WITH TIGHT UPPER JACKET TO BE MORE OF A WOMAN SHAPING MY EYEBROWS ETC.

  15. Krista 8 months ago

    Hi Jackie, I really love your story. If this were made into a film, it would be a major chick flick (which I just love by the way). Your writing is full of emotion and passion. Thank You so much for sharing. I wish I had a sister like Elaine. Lucky Gurl!!!!
    Hugs, Krista

    • Author
      Jackie Wild 8 months ago

      Thank you Krista that was so nice for you to say. I wonder who they would pick to play the parts, Dolly Parton and Alexis Arquette?

  16. Very beautiful story, beautifully told. Those of us that have people in our lives who support us are very lucky.

    Great piece hon.
    April

  17. Bridget Kennedy 8 months ago

    Love this article because I also had a sister who is amazing. When I was about 3 or 4 and she was 7 or 8 she started dressing me up in her old princess costumes for her “tea parties” which was her, myself, and a number of select stuffed animals, lol. I can still remember how the flowing dresses and skirts felt on me as I twirled around. Eventually my dad made her stop and I didn’t know why. Many years later she was the only one who ever caught me cross dressing. I was 13 and she was 17. She was a dancer so she had all these incredible shiny leotards and pinks and baby blues and whites covered in lace and ribbons. She was mad at first but then told me it was ok. When I came out to my wife 14 years ago, my sister also found out through my wife and was a huge part of getting my wife to accept it and support me. I am so blessed to have such incredible women in my life and obviously you were too. Nice story!

    • Author
      Jackie Wild 8 months ago

      Thank you for your awesome comment and sharing this adventure with your sister and wife. It is an adventurous journey and for some lived by everyday. Your supports speaks volumes, I truly wish everyone had the same support as you and I. I think the world would be a better place if everyone was allowed to be who they really and truly are with no BS, intolerance, judgements and so on! I loved your little short but to the point you shared, thank you Bridget.

  18. Lissa 8 months ago

    A realy nice story Jackie, what lovely memories to have, your sister sounds magical in many ways.
    somtimes l think l am the the sister l never had.

    • Author
      Jackie Wild 8 months ago

      Thank you Lissa, I believe you could be right hun.

  19. Terrim 8 months ago

    Jackie, thank you for posting your story. I loved reading it and made me think of my teenage years and how alone I felt. I was the oldest of 3 children and we lived in a very small apartment. I remember trying on my mother’s clothes and using her makeup on the rare times I was home alone. Reading your story made me wonder if I had been the youngest and I tried on my sisters clothes.
    Thank you again for sharing your story.
    Yours Terri

    • Author
      Jackie Wild 8 months ago

      Glad you enjoyed it Terrim, it brought back many wonderful memories writing it. Take care hun.

  20. Nikki 8 months ago

    Jackie this brings my emotions out so much and i wanted to cry just reading this article. This was so touching and loving?
    Nikki

    • Author
      Jackie Wild 8 months ago

      I’m glad you liked it Nikki, I wrote from the heart but was only able to tell some because I didn’t want the article to be long and drawn out. My sister is amazing and she has been a loyal loyal supporter and best friend. Thank you for sharing with us/me. Take care hun, Jackie.

  21. VickieJ 8 months ago

    That’s a beautiful and touching story Jackie. I have not been logging into this site much lately as I have been preparing my life for a full transition.

    Your touching story reminded me of why I love logging in.

    Thank you for sharing

    Vickiej

    • Author
      Jackie Wild 8 months ago

      Oh thank u Vickie. I wish you all the best travels in your journey. Lot’s of courage and belief in yourself to go all the way to transition. All the best to you and may the high heel God’s shine upon you. Please keep us informed of things go k.

  22. Michelle Brown 8 months ago

    I,too,have a special sister.We live in different states and after much internal debate lasting over a few years I finally told her that I was a crossdresser,Her answer to me was “If it makes you happy,go for it”.She has seen a few pictures of me fully dressed as Michelle and plans to visit when her business permits later this summer,maybe finally for some sister and sister time.

    • Author
      Jackie Wild 8 months ago

      Michelle it’s so cool and a true blessing when we know we have that special bond and acceptance from other’s especially our family. My mother wasn’t that accepting at all, in fact she cried more than once always asking where she went wrong raising me and I would tell her she didn’t at all raise me to be a cross dresser or a drag queen or even being gay. I told her and other’s it’s just simply who I am and even if I didn’t want to be I was/am end of story. Thank you for leaving your comment. It’s comment like yours that inspire so many struggling with acceptance and fear of coming out. Your sister is awesome!

  23. nancy 8 months ago

    I wish all the sisters should be helpful to their crossdresser brothers

  24. Patsy Jennusaith 3 months ago

    That’s wonderful that you had such a good sister who was so loving towards you, and accepted you for who you really are.
    Also where did you get the dress in that picture?

    • Author
      Jackie Wild 3 months ago

      The picture above was one chosen for this article and not me. But you gotta admit it is a cute dress she is wearing!

  25. Veronica Raines 3 months ago

    A wonderful story. To have a sister, who loves you as much as she does, is something I’ve looked for. I may never find it, but, then again, being a member of this site, maybe I will.

    • Author
      Jackie Wild 3 months ago

      Yes she was and still is very supportive. She even goes to the bar (gay bar and clubs) with me sometimes when I go. My other four sister’s have came around some and don’t mind being around me as well, they just aren’t as supportive. I always thought that if ever my sister found out that I was borrowing her clothes, shoes, boots, makeup etc. that she would freak out and be angry. Instead she wound up giving some of my favorite things of hers. Yes she was a huge voice with me when the time came for me to come out, both as a cross dresser/drag queen and being gay.

  26. Matilda Mia 3 months ago

    Beautiful!
    Had to call my sister and tell her I loved her after reading this. She has always been on my side and respected me for who I am in all aspects of life. When I came out to her she had her questions, but she was 100% supportive. If I was out of line, she was the only one who could put me back in line.
    Thank you for this.

    • Author
      Jackie Wild 3 months ago

      That is so cool that she not only supports you but just as my sisters they put me in line when I’ am out of it. Blessed Be Sister, Jackie.

  27. Terri Knoan 2 months ago

    Such a beautifull story. Thank you for sharing this part of you life with us. We are always here for you. Anytime. Huggs and kisses to you Jackie,
    – Terri Anne

    • Author
      Jackie Wild 2 months ago

      Thank you Terri I’m glad you enjoyed it.

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