Maybe it's in the genes (or maybe it's in the jeans)

The old Chinese proverbs talk about the yin and the yang. We are all possessed with both the yin and the yang, or the female and the male. It is when we are born that one of them dominates and that is what our outward appearance is going to be. But that is not to say the one that is not the dominant trait will not come alive at one time or another. And it all depends on how we acknowledge that fact as to how we wish to live our lives.

I grew up in a house with four sisters and my mom and they all had an influence on me, whether I admitted it to them or not. From around my early teenage years, I remember being somewhat jealous of all of them because of all the pretty clothes they got while I was getting the usual boy things. I was happy that they were so happy but deep down I wished that some of them were mine. When I got to be 15 I knew that I had to see for myself just how they looked on me. So when I had time to myself I took a few things out the see how they looked. It was so wonderful to see how they fit and how they felt. After that, any chance I got I wanted to try things on, making sure that I only took things that looked like they would fit me, considering that all of my sisters were different heights.

There were a few times that I almost got caught wearing something, and even though it scared the daylights out of me, I couldn’t seem to help myself. As they all got older, (considering that I was the oldest) their tastes began to change and that only gave me more options to try on. Whether it was dresses, skirts, blouses, or lingerie, there always seemed to be something to try on and indulge my fantasies. And even when going out with girls, I always seemed to compliment them on what they were wearing, which made them feel good. I guessed then that making women feel that someone was paying attention to their appearance made them feel good about themselves.

Time marched on and I got married and stopped dressing up, but I still paid attention to clothes. About 10 years ago the urges started to come back. But now since I had a good job, I was able to start to create my own little wardrobe. Just a few things at first, all the while getting stares from sales girls when I went in to buy lingerie or looking at racks of clothes. I was a little timid at first but now I feel so comfortable shopping for myself that I just smile back at them.

Meanwhile, I feel the genes that have been passed down from my mom make me feel so happy about the choices I have made for myself. And to slide on, whenever I can, those Gloria Vanderbilt jeans lets me feel that the women in my life are so lucky to put these on anytime they want. I don’t go out in them but I feel like a woman when they are on. That’s when I know that the yin is coming to the forefront. And that’s OK by me.

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Renee T

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60 Comments
  1. Leslie Ravenous 3 weeks ago

    Awesome article. It is crazy how we go through life with these feminine feelings thinking that we are alone. Our life journey seems very much the same.

    • Author
      Renee T 3 weeks ago

      It is so true Leslie. I had denied these feelings for quite a few years and now that I feel so comfortable just going out and shopping for myself I can’t help but feel giddy. Thanks for reading and liking the article.

      • Trina Hill 1 week ago

        Thong

      • Trina Hill 1 week ago

        You might have put my name on that post Renee except I was the youngest out of six,ever since I can remember i have wanted to and have crossdresser I love the way a pair of size large jeans feels when you slip them on over a tight thing just feels so Right,thank you

  2. Kristinaaz Redding 3 weeks ago

    I enjoyed your article. Identified with it. Thanks for sharing

    • Author
      Renee T 3 weeks ago

      Thanks so much Kristinaaz. I am glad that you liked it.

  3. Kim Paige 3 weeks ago

    Renee,
    Thanks for sharing this! No matter how many different posts like this I read, I’m always surprised by how easily I relate to them! So comforting to read!!
    Kim

    • Author
      Renee T 3 weeks ago

      Kim and Cynthia, thank you both. You have made me so appreciative of this forum and how we can share stories like these. I just love that other women will comment in the positive on wearing obvious feminine things and not put you down for it. I have started slowly with lingerie underneath my outside clothes, but I guess little steps first.

    • Author
      Renee T 3 weeks ago

      That is wonderful Kim. So does anyone know or make any comments about your jeans? You are so right in that wearing femme jeans just feels so much better than a pair of jeans made for a guy. The legs feel so much better and the slimming fit is the best

      • Kim Paige 3 weeks ago

        Renee,
        One woman commented “wow those are skinny jeans…but you have the legs for them…” it was on a fairly crowded elevator a few weeks ago. One of the cashiers in our cafeteria has definitely noticed – she looks me up and down every time.
        Kim

    • Author
      Renee T 3 weeks ago

      Thank you so much Kim. I feel so much joy when I read something like your reply. I am really happy that I have found others who can relate to it and tell me just how they are.

      • skippy1965(Cynthia) 3 weeks ago

        I stealth dress every day at work myself-everything I’m wearing is female clothes-ladies penny loafers, ladies khaki slacks, ladies polo shirt, cami, undies and trouser socks plus my earrings. Been doing it for almost 2 years now and no plans to stop or return to guys clothes!
        Cyn

      • Kim Paige 3 weeks ago

        …and speaking ok jeans; while I’m in the closet; I’ve started wearing femme low rise jeans to the office on a daily basis and even added a skinny femme belt: a few times I’ve thought about returning to drab – khakis or jeans, just can’t do it…love the way the low rise feels and while deep pockets in drab wear may be more practical there’s just something about shallow femme pockets that just makes me feel better!

  4. Leonara 3 weeks ago

    Renee,
    Thank you for writing an article to which so many girls can relate, especially yours truly… I also liked your previous article Dress with Confidence… Please keep your articles coming which are so welcome to CDH…

    • Author
      Renee T 3 weeks ago

      Thank you so much Leonara. I am hoping to write more soon. I have written some fiction stories posted elsewhere but I think I am going to write more here.

  5. Stephanie Donaldson 3 weeks ago

    Nice. I like how you do YOU.

    • Author
      Renee T 3 weeks ago

      Thank you so much Stephanie. Nice to feel comfortable in your own clothes

  6. Kara Kelly 3 weeks ago

    Great article, Renee.

    • Author
      Renee T 3 weeks ago

      Thanks so much Kara. I am so glad you enjoyed it.

  7. Noelene Venus 3 weeks ago

    Thank you for the encouragment i gained from your article i started loving my feminine side very late but am learning so much from this forum nolene

    • Author
      Renee T 3 weeks ago

      I am so glad I could help, even if just a little Noelene. It is so nice when you find your feminine side makes you feel so whole

  8. Author
    Renee T 3 weeks ago

    Thanks to everyone who has read and replied to my article. It was one of those things I felt I had to talk about and I am so glad that it resonated with so many of you. Hope to write more soon.

  9. Sandra Nichols 3 weeks ago

    Renee
    Thank you for sharing. I too have been dressing almost all my life. I have one sister and two brothers. Well as the youngest I shared a bedroom with my sister until about eight years old. She is 10 older than me. I would wear her clothes and dress like her and wish I was her

    • Author
      Renee T 3 weeks ago

      I know just how you feel Sandra. Do you think she ever realized that you were wearing her things? I can’t be 100% sure myself but no one ever said anything to me. And I was so careful as to not disturb much and definitely not ruin anything. Lovely to hear from you and hope to again.

      • Sandra Nichols 2 weeks ago

        Hi Renee
        No I don’t think my sister ever suspected I wore her clothes.
        Private message me if you like to chat
        Sandra

  10. Milena 3 weeks ago

    Great article, Renee. You must get tired of all of us that say we agree with you. But it IS so very true. Life is totally mysterious. Just look at all the gender variations in the natural world. No one should get hung-up about it. Just try to do what feels right and seems to make you happy. You just can’t worry and be in turmoil about it. Self-acceptance cannot be denied. Enjoy life’s journey to the best of one’s ability.

    • Author
      Renee T 3 weeks ago

      Thank you Milena. I do try to live my life the way it makes me feel the most comfortable. I never get tired of everyone relating to the story and love to hear how others have grown up in a similar way. Even though we may not be able to dress this way all of the time it is so comfortable when we can.

  11. Robbi Stevens 3 weeks ago

    Lovely Renee! You tell something of my own story. I let my Yin and Yang dance and sometimes they juxtapose as I slip into delightful lingerie, pull on my Calvin’s and go to the garage where I’m restoring a car.

  12. Robbi Stevens 3 weeks ago

    I wanted to add…the other day my wife was at the gym and I was cleaning the kitchen…in short shorts, bra, camisole and some nice medium heels. As I mopped, the FedEx guy knocks on the door.!.! Oh well, I open up, he hands me a package and I sign and thank him. I wondered if at the end of the day, FedEx guys stop into a local haunt and tell stories about what they saw during their rounds. I’m guessing the next FedEx package will be delivered with some anticipation….maybe not too serious anticipation, but anticipation none the less.
    FWIW, I LOVE , LOVE, LOVE this site for the ability to share my feelings and adventures with all of you….and to hear and feel yours. Do any of you get emotional when you read and write here? I’m a little teary eyed just now.
    Big, deep hugs…

    • PaulaPlaytex 2 weeks ago

      I OFTEN ANSWER THE DOOR WITH MY BRA VISIBLE…I HAVE A CUTE PIZZA DELIVERY GUY THAT LIKES TO SEE MY BRA (I RAISE MY TOP AND SHOW HIM), I WILL BE WEARING CLIP-ON EARRINGS (HIS EARS ARE PIERCED). I ALWAYS TIP HIM WELL (I TOLD HIM THAT I THOUGHT THAT HE WAS “CUTE”) HE TOLD ME THAT I SHOULD WEAR A BRA. HE LOVES TO “CHAT WITH ME”, IN WARMER HE WEARS SHORTS AND HAS GREAT LEGS (I TOLD HIM I LOVE HIS LEGS) !!!

    • Author
      Renee T 3 weeks ago

      Robbi, I am the same way. I have all of my own things and never want to borrow something from my wife. I do love the way my skirts feel while I am walking around the house or sitting down. I am extremely private about it also and have no thoughts now about changing that. Take care and enjoy your femme side like i love to. xoxo

    • Author
      Renee T 3 weeks ago

      Thanks for reading the article Robbi and I am so happy to hear from you. That is a great story about the FedEx guy. I am sure that all of these guys have seen quite a lot during their deliveries. Was the outfit your own or did you do some borrowing from your wife? Maybe the next time they might even pay you a compliment!

      I do love this site also. It is a wonderful place to exchange ideas and stories and it is so heartwarming to know that there are so many more beautiful people out there who share the same thoughts, feelings and clothing ideas as I do. I do hope to write more in the future.

      Passing on really deep hugs.

      • Robbi Stevens 3 weeks ago

        Renee, I was wearing my own skirt and top. My wife doesn’t really like that I wear some of what I have, but she doesn’t care about the panties and bra….she is really private and doesn’t want others to judge me as some kind of crazy. I love my femme side a LOT, and Iove her a lot too, so I’ll accept limitations that keep her comfy. But….that little skirt makes me crazy! xoxox

  13. Sandy 3 weeks ago

    Renee,

    Thank you for the article. I can relate in so many ways. I too was raised in my formidable years my mother, aunt and two sisters. Also, there were no boys my age in the neighborhood to play with so I played with dolls and played “Dress-up” with the neighbor girls. After we moved it was I spend a lot of time with my grandparents and my youngest aunt still lived at home. She just loved dressing me in her dresses (I loved it too). Had stretches where I thought I was over the desire to dress-up but then the urge would come back. I fought it each time till about ten years ago. For some reason this time was different, the urge was stronger and I was tired of fighting it. Needless to say I have been enjoying my feminine side ever since. I have enjoyed many exciting and enjoyable outings and look forward to even more.

    Thanks again for the words of encouragement.
    Sandy

    • Author
      Renee T 3 weeks ago

      Thanks so much Sandy. It’s a joy to hear some positive stories like yours about family and letting you explore and find yourself. Enjoy all of your outings exploring your femme side. Hopefully you can do some fun things like go to a beauty salon or maybe just some shopping.

      Renee

  14. Squeak 3 weeks ago

    Yes, Renee T, please write more articles. You have an excellent style and way with words. I enjoyed reading this one very much.

    I was an only child. So, I guess I can only blame my mother. Also, I believe my father wanted a daughter. I envy all of you that had sisters.

    • Author
      Renee T 3 weeks ago

      Thank you so much Squeak. I will definitely post a few more things in the upcoming weeks. So, did your mom tell you that she wished she had a daughter or did your dad let you explore your feminine side?

      Renee

  15. Tonya Annalise 3 weeks ago

    Great article !! I, too , can relate to this . I didn’t choose this …. it chose me . I embrace it tenderly now . For the longest time , I thought it was just a dressing up fetish . Then I realized that it was much , much more . Mere clothes only made me more depressed because I felt I wasn’t a real woman because I was JUST DRESSING, in my mind . I’ve been on hormones now foe almost three years , and I wouldn’t trade it for the world! Embrace your womanhood , ladies ! It’s in your genes……. .

    • Author
      Renee T 3 weeks ago

      Thank you so much Tonya. I so envy you that you have taken the next step and embraced what we all feel as you explore all that it is to become a woman.

      Renee

  16. Michelle 3 weeks ago

    Renee T.; I know those feelings sooo well. When my mother was pregnant with me, they were certain I was a girl, and my mother even had a name picked out for me. Imagine their surprise when I popped out. Well; I’m absolutely sure their “girl” predictions were correct; but a mix up happened with the body. So; here I be! LOL. Love those jeans and the fit Renee.

    • Author
      Renee T 3 weeks ago

      Thanks so much Michelle. I wish that picture was of me wearing those jeans. I need to get a picture of mine and post it on here. Maybe next week! Even though out outer bodies don’t really show it, we can let our inner femme side come out whenever we can.

    • Tonya Annalise 3 weeks ago

      Michelle…… I too was thought to be a girl while in the womb . My name was to be Amber , my mom said . Growing up with this was hard , as in “ my day “ , you didn’t go around telling , let alone showing people your gender identity if it was other than what you were born with . So I became an alpha male , martial arts , wrestling, bodybuilding, muscle cars and the Marine Corps . Then my problems came . But my brother said some profound words one day . He said “ You’re not going to be a Barbie doll , so why don’t you be a badass chick ?!” . So I am . I’m a competitive cyclist , personal trainer and year round bicycle commuter .

      • Noelene Venus 3 weeks ago

        Hi tonya i too have always been into weights bodybuilding rugby football done those ignored my femme side which came and went didnt want to know it at all thought i was too macho then i tried a little lingerei now and then but now my femme side has become much stronger and wont be denied wife does not know i now wear panties full time and get away with it dress a little when i can i want to become nolene hugs nolene

  17. Peta 3 weeks ago

    Thank you Renee for that lovely note I see myself in you. I have a lovely figure and look so nice in a camisole and panties I know I should have been a girl and my sister should have been a boy Peta.

    • Author
      Renee T 3 weeks ago

      Thank you so much Peta. There are times when I feel the same way about my sisters and I. What if one of us would switch. I think I look pretty good in a bra and panties also and love to wear them whenever I can.

  18. Ashleigh 3 weeks ago

    Thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts, Renee. The theme is very familiar, but I love reading about the journeys of others. I wear nothing but ladies jeans now, as well as many other articles of ladies clothing daily, even to church on sundays and work everyday. The young ladies who work for me know about my femme side, because I told them. A couple pairs of jeans I wear regularly actually used to belong to one of the young ladies. She gets the biggest kick out of seeing me wearing some of her hand me downs. If you choose the style carefully, jeans with limited embellishments on the back pockets, most people never know the difference. I totally agree, the fit is much better than men’s jeans.

    • Author
      Renee T 3 weeks ago

      I just love your story Ashieigh. The fact that the women who work for you are that accepting and will even share some of their things with you. Do you talk often with them about styles and what everyone likes to wear? At least I would guess they would not think it is creepy talking about it with you since they are comfortable knowing that is what you like to wear. Thanks for sharing.

  19. Dan 3 weeks ago

    Great story, I have tried to let my wife know I love to dress. But every time I do I stop because she gives me that look. I love to wear hosiery under my pants. Its easy in the winter as I play it off as I need them for warmth. Hopefully one day I can express my true inner girl. Love the story keep it it up.

    • PaulaPlaytex 1 week ago

      DAN…DO YOU LIKE TO WEAR A BRA ???

    • Author
      Renee T 3 weeks ago

      Thanks Dan. I do know that look. It is a little easier in winter to hide wearing some things and I do like the fact that I am home by myself a lot during this time of the year. So I can dress a little more often. Keep that inner girl alive and hopefully one day she might be able to surface.

  20. Stephanie 3 weeks ago

    I also grew up with 4 sisters. I could have written the article you wrote. I had 2 older, and 2 younger sisters so I had an unlimited supply of clothes. I loved to wear their prom dresses and nylons. Yes, I am that old that they wore nylons and garter belts. The choices of lingerie were mind boggling! I was caught by my oldest sister, who unknown to me, had known I was wearing the girls clothes. I have to thank her for being such an understanding person. She taught me a how to be a girl.

    • Author
      Renee T 2 weeks ago

      Thank you Stephanie. I know that sometimes sisters might be a bother but when we could sneak into their closet and drawers for an endless supply of nice things that made it all worthwhile to have them there. That was so nice of your oldest sister to be so understanding and want to show you the way. Are you still close to any of them?

  21. Well done Renee! I am happy for you.

    • Author
      Renee T 2 weeks ago

      Thank you so much Lady Veronica. I am glad that you enjoyed the article. I had a good time thinking about all of it as I wrote it down.

  22. Rebekka 2 weeks ago

    Love the story, and need to read all the comments. I’m an older male now, with an ever stronger urge to dress. I “hybrid-dress” on weekends. I’ve come to know my local thrift stores quite well. On the weekends I wear women’s jeans, (low cut), womens booties, panties and cammies under my shirts.

    I am married, don’t believe my wife notices or she would have said something, but this morning was thinking about my summer wardrobe. I so much want to wear other things out, but it will be difficult. It’s stressful enough (purposely) getting up early on the weekends, so I can dress in private in the bathroom, before my wife wakes. I’ve had a few close calls. But I can’t fight the urge, and the good feelings I get from dressing.

    I know people in public “notice” things, and I get some stares, but I’m very comfortable with it. Too, I’ve committed to keeping my legs completely shaved and smooth, and other areas as well. I know that is noticed but again, I’m getting to a point where I’m more comfortable with that, and not caring what others think.

    It’s tough out there, gals!
    love!

    R

    • PaulaPlaytex 1 week ago

      REBEKKA…BRA WEARING IS ALWAYS NICE !!!

    • Author
      Renee T 2 weeks ago

      It is tough to fight the urges Rebekka. I know that I have had to time my dressing out just right so I would not get caught. Plus now I have started to experiment with makeup so there is another thing to make sure to clean up just right. I remember one time later on in the evening my wife looked at me and asked if I had mascara on. I panicked but made a little joke about it and it was dropped. I looked later on but did not see why she would have said that.

  23. Sahi saheli 2 weeks ago

    The article and the comments are so close to me as I do crossdresser feel the femme side of me and I always look forward somebody notice and snapshot.

    • Author
      Renee T 2 weeks ago

      Thank you for being here Sahi. I do try and take a few snapshots when i can but haven’t done any this year so far. But the year is still young. It is really wonderful when you can express the femme side of yourself. I know that I do feel like a whole new person

  24. Adeline Johnston 2 weeks ago

    Since the first of the year I have started wearing women’s slacks and jeans exclusively and have been wearing women’s underwear for years. As others have commented, I find the women’s jeans and slacks so much more comfortable and they fit me better. Oddly enough, they were also less expensive than the men’s pants I had been wearing. It took a little experimenting to find a brand and size that worked but it was worth it. I also discovered women’s shoes and wear them most of the time. I have several pairs of booties that I love.

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