That moment when you realize …

… when you look down at your freshly painted toes and feel that rush. OMG!

I’m new, quite new in fact, but the desires have spanned decades. Like so many on here whose own stories are very compelling. They come from hard backgrounds, tough times and a locked closet of ten bolts, locks and rivets so that no one can pry that door open. Not all of our paths to this point are the same, but a lot of us have emerged from similar backgrounds.

So when there’s that moment when we can look down at our toes or feel the fabric grace upon our skin we can rejoice, even if just for a few minutes. Because ultimately, hopefully, some day we can let our inner girl out from the shell we’ve had within us.

No matter what way we choose to create that opening of exploration and feeling, it’s with hope that we all, all of us, can some day experience that at a time that best suits us. Not everyone wants 24/7 but a lot do. Not everyone has the same buttons to press and that’s okay too. The great thing about a place like CDH is that we all get it. We may not be the same, or have the same desires and wants, but we get it at the most basic level. The incredible love and support here is beyond words: the best experience I could’ve asked for.

The road may be very hard and difficult. The opportunities may be limited or seemingly non-existent but I will always know that I have a home here of girls that understand and get it. That’s a huge blessing when there are days I wake wondering exactly how I got here and where do I go now that I am here. These steps are tough but they’re good solid steps. However, as I take those steps I see my painted toes and I know this is where I was meant to be.

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Profile photo of Blue Belle

Blue Belle

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Latest posts by Blue Belle (see all)

  1. Profile photo of Robin Twain
    Robin Twain 17 hours ago

    Hmmm…my first mani/pedi? Tonight is my first night with my first wig. It is indescribable.

  2. Profile photo of Stefanie
    Stefanie 3 days ago

    Went to pedi with my wife she picked the color
    I vealways had a thing for pretty feet and polishing my toes

    • Profile photo of Blue Belle Author
      Blue Belle 2 days ago

      @Stefanie – that’s great! What color do you have now?

      • Profile photo of Stefanie
        Stefanie 2 days ago

        Its called pat on the black
        Dark purple looks black
        Sallie Hansen

  3. zena simmons 6 days ago

    Some of you gals are lucky have such people to understand what you’re going through or what makes u happy as for me I’m happy being the woman I am but at sametime somewhat trapped in being male figure on account people round me don’t get it or don’t understand I’d rather show my feminine self as it’s hard to combine my inner woman with male body without letting other’s know however trying my best to let her out an show what she’s made of

    • Profile photo of Blue Belle Author
      Blue Belle 2 days ago

      @Zena I think most all of us get this. In fact, I know there’s a lot of stories from girls on here that have been in the same situation as you. It seems depressing and impossible – but things can happen over time. We perceive that we’re locked in these boxes and while yes – there will be those folks that simply won’t understand – it’s not the end of the world either. Again, time changes things. I never thought that at the age of 47 – I would be able to fully embrace what I do today. That’s 40 years since the first time I crossdressed and I thought that part of me was gone forever. Thankfully that wasn’t the case. Hang in there – your time will hopefully come soon!


  4. Dani 1 week ago

    thanks Blue Belle for your support. I am out to my children, daughter in law, and all of my family. All are Ok with it. I am out to my best friends and they are ok. All said just don’t dress around them. My wife now has taken 8 years to get to accepting but still not understanding. However, she is willing to work with me. it has not been easy.

  5. Profile photo of Jamies time
    Jamies time 1 week ago

    I have been wanting to go to a nail salon for nails also and I’m going to try it soon.I go to the salon for makeup lessons and facial massage once a month in full dress and I love it

    • Profile photo of Blue Belle Author
      Blue Belle 1 week ago

      @jamies-time – that’s awesome!! I look forward to that experience some day. I have a couple leads for a makeup person that I hope works out. Yay!! I’m happy for you!!

  6. Profile photo of
    Kim Cummings 1 week ago

    I once went to a nail salon and had a French manicure done. The girl tried to talk me out of it,but I Insisted. The result was just too unbelievable. The felt like it was the thing to do. I wore gloves sometimes, but I didn’t care about what other people thought. It was a little difficult to do buttons, and the long nails took some getting used to. The look of the pretty nails were worth it.

    • Profile photo of Blue Belle Author
      Blue Belle 1 week ago

      @kim-cummings – I’m glad you stuck with it and got what you wanted. The public perception thing – I totally get and understand. I’m still trying to sort that out a bit, but kudos to you for sticking to what you wanted! Well done!

    • Profile photo of Leonara
      Leonara 3 days ago

      Wow Kim… French manicure is still on my “to do list”…I have had manicures but not the French…. How long did you keep the French manicure? Thank you for sharing…

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