That moment when you realize …

… when you look down at your freshly painted toes and feel that rush. OMG!

I’m new, quite new in fact, but the desires have spanned decades. Like so many on here whose own stories are very compelling. They come from hard backgrounds, tough times and a locked closet of ten bolts, locks and rivets so that no one can pry that door open. Not all of our paths to this point are the same, but a lot of us have emerged from similar backgrounds.

So when there’s that moment when we can look down at our toes or feel the fabric grace upon our skin we can rejoice, even if just for a few minutes. Because ultimately, hopefully, some day we can let our inner girl out from the shell we’ve had within us.

No matter what way we choose to create that opening of exploration and feeling, it’s with hope that we all, all of us, can some day experience that at a time that best suits us. Not everyone wants 24/7 but a lot do. Not everyone has the same buttons to press and that’s okay too. The great thing about a place like CDH is that we all get it. We may not be the same, or have the same desires and wants, but we get it at the most basic level. The incredible love and support here is beyond words: the best experience I could’ve asked for.

The road may be very hard and difficult. The opportunities may be limited or seemingly non-existent but I will always know that I have a home here of girls that understand and get it. That’s a huge blessing when there are days I wake wondering exactly how I got here and where do I go now that I am here. These steps are tough but they’re good solid steps. However, as I take those steps I see my painted toes and I know this is where I was meant to be.

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Belle

The self discovery for this girl is ongoing. I discovered my desire to dress fem at an early age - and unfortunately I was discovered ... and then ridiculed ... and then demeaned ... and then being told I was gay (which at the time was a slam), a freak, basically - any name in the book to otherwise shame me to throw those thoughts out. I did ... and I would revisit them every so often with partners, but they weren't into it or they blamed my interest as the reason for the breakup. I shut that part of me down ... until summer 2016 when a partner woke up this side and ... watch out! I told the rest of my partners as the year wore on - and finally outed myself Dec. '16. It was horrifying, liberating, freeing, scary, wonderful, and most importantly: peaceful. I identify as being gender fluid (edited: I actually now identify as non-binary just because it seems to be the best label to apply atm). I'm blessed to have an incredible immediate support system that's not only okay with it, but support it, feed it and otherwise enjoys that side ever bit as much as I do. I don't take that for granted and wished other girls could afford the same lucky break I got. The journey of life is always evolving. We never know where it's going to take us - but I've learned it's not important to have all the answers. What matters most is just being myself. Even in the imperfections of the world, I can still be me - even when I have to do it in male drab. I'm a reserved open book. A story in progress ... and if you want to know anything else - feel free to ask 🙂

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Kim Cummings
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Kim Cummings

I once went to a nail salon and had a French manicure done. The girl tried to talk me out of it,but I Insisted. The result was just too unbelievable. The felt like it was the thing to do. I wore gloves sometimes, but I didn’t care about what other people thought. It was a little difficult to do buttons, and the long nails took some getting used to. The look of the pretty nails were worth it.

Leonara
Ambassador
Member

Wow Kim… French manicure is still on my “to do list”…I have had manicures but not the French…. How long did you keep the French manicure? Thank you for sharing…

Jamies time
Guest
Jamies time

I have been wanting to go to a nail salon for nails also and I’m going to try it soon.I go to the salon for makeup lessons and facial massage once a month in full dress and I love it

Dani
Guest
Dani

thanks Blue Belle for your support. I am out to my children, daughter in law, and all of my family. All are Ok with it. I am out to my best friends and they are ok. All said just don’t dress around them. My wife now has taken 8 years to get to accepting but still not understanding. However, she is willing to work with me. it has not been easy.

Jessy
Guest
Jessy

You are courageous Dani ,I cant see my wife accepting me if she found out but I love who I am and what I wear so I will persist!

zena simmons
Guest
zena simmons

Some of you gals are lucky have such people to understand what you’re going through or what makes u happy as for me I’m happy being the woman I am but at sametime somewhat trapped in being male figure on account people round me don’t get it or don’t understand I’d rather show my feminine self as it’s hard to combine my inner woman with male body without letting other’s know however trying my best to let her out an show what she’s made of

Stefanie
Guest
Stefanie

Went to pedi with my wife she picked the color
I vealways had a thing for pretty feet and polishing my toes

Robin Twain
Guest
Robin Twain

Hmmm…my first mani/pedi? Tonight is my first night with my first wig. It is indescribable.

Delbra Dawn cordry
Lady

i don’t stop with shaved legs i shave my whole body

Tracy Jay
Guest
Tracy Jay

Oh yes, the feeling of being freshly shaved all over is wonderful. Especially then slipping on a pair of pantyhose

Mikki
Guest
Mikki

I shave my whole body as well. I agree Tracy.

Janine
Guest
Janine

I took the plunge I went back to the salon where I had gotten my toe nails coated with clear polish the last time I was in there This time I had the same girl who did my pedicure doing it again I asked her to bring me the box of nail polish so I could choose a color I picked out a wine color and told her that I wanted her to use it on my toes She didn’t hesitate and started to apply the polish on my toes. When she was through the lady seated next to me… Read more »

Stefanie
Guest
Stefanie

Go for it i do its my foot my choice the more of us that do the more its accepted

Michelle
Guest
Michelle

Janine you are very amazing I have always wanted to do that but my wife does not accept me in female form so can never do it.

Rochelle
Guest
Rochelle

I get pedicures on a regular basis. Almost always French Tips, I also wear flip flops most of the time. Living in Texas, where it is warm quite a bit of the time helps.

Karen Love
Guest
Karen Love

I have gone to a nail salon and gotten my legs waxed and then had a manicure and pedicure and picked a very pale pink nail polish ….it was wonderful ….one of the greatest experiences I ever had . Now every time I go to the salon they ask me if I want my legs waxed and always try to talk me into a dark red polish called Scarlet ….so wish I had the couage to get that color…..someday I definitely will!

Tracy Jay
Guest
Tracy Jay

You lucky girl. Sounds wonderful

Jenna W
Lady

I’ve only had the pleasure once of getting a pedicure…Loved every minute of it. My girlfriend ‘convinced’ me to get it done. I loved all the pampering that was done.

Stefanie
Guest
Stefanie

Valentine’s Day is on the way time for a pretty pedi thinking a deep dark red
Can’t wait
As many of us as possible lets get pedis- it will help all of us open others minds on men getting pedis and if you are really bold go in femme mode

Renee T
Lady

Beautiful story Blue Belle. I am working up the courage right now to stop into a nail salon to get my one (at least) pedicure done. I have painted my nails a few times and it is such a rush to look down and see something on you that makes you feel like you are yourself. Thanks for sharing.

Rebecca Smith
Lady

I read this last night before I went out for dinner. Loved the post and got inspired so I bought some red nail polish and matching lipstick. 1st polish for me and much bolder lipstick than I’ve ever tried. Go bold or go home! Thanks for the inspiration!

VanessaC
Guest
VanessaC

It’s true, we really can be who we want to!

rebecca
Guest
rebecca

Hey ladies. I’m Rebecca and most nights in a night owl and awake til daylight. I’m always down for some late night girl talk. If anyone wants to chat please reply

Girl4ever
Lady

Love seeing my painted toes.

Mikki
Guest
Mikki

Me too. Dont get to all that often, but that rush is awesome.

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