Many of both my male and female friends know I’m a Crossdresser. Most embrace it, some tolerate it but only one out of 30 odd have walked away from me. It wasn’t always this way. I felt the need to tell someone but also feared their rejection. I think it came down to that i needed to be honest and wanted to know that they accepted all of me.
It’s not easy and there’s no right way to do it but if you can, the rewards (and peace of mind) are amazing.
Having done some thorough research (an hour on google and wikipedia) I found some pretty kinky photos but more importantly a few pertinent facts and figures. I am going to use a few generalisations and averages to keep this as simple as possible.
As a percentage of population in the Western World (since most of Russia, Africa and Asia would love to imprison or kill us) there are about 3-4% of people who self report they are homosexual or
bi-sexual and 2-5% are thought to be crossdressers.
So if we assume that not all people are willing to admit it and we say 5% of each.
Bear with me.
Since there is a small crossover (80% of crossdressers identify as heterosexual, apparently) we’ll take a total of 9% LBGQTI.
35-40% of people are homophobic. I use this as an indicator since anyone who would be considered homophobic would throw in crossdressers, transgender, and actually anyone not within their definition of “normal” in the same boat.
Almost there.
So if you include our 9%, who we’d assume would not be throwing stones in glass houses and remove the stupid 35-40% that still leaves 60-65% of people who are more than likely going tolerate you if not accept you.
That’s 20-30% better odds than you’d get playing any game at a casino.
If you want to increase your odds women are more than 60% more likely than men to be open to your differences. Throw in a tertiary degree (college) and the odds go up again. If you live in a large city the cosmopolitan identity makes it as close to a sure bet as you’ll ever get.
Yes I know have generalised a bit and rounded up but the reality is you’re not likely to tell a complete stranger (if you do, you go girl!) but these are people you grew up with or trust with your children or with your heart. You know them.
Maybe it’s time to trust them with all of you.
PS Just be ready with the right (for you) answers :
-Do you want to be a woman?
-Do you like guys (sexually)?
-Did you steal my lipstick?
Anyway you get the idea. Also I’ve found a little white lie here and there to ease them into accepting it isn’t a mortal sin.
Sarah
xx
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Great article Sarah, it makes very interesting reading. I estimate crossdressing is more widespread than 5% it’s because of the secrecy involved in most cases that a true figure cannot be found. I’ve been happily surprised by the positive response by the majority of people I have told and those others who have found out. Obviously there are the others who don’t want to know, but they cannot be true friends and can go their own way, as I have done. I’m sure seeing it the way you have put it Sarah will help many to take the first step… Read more »
Sarah what a great way to explain the vast possibilities of acceptance as so many of us focus too much on the negativity that surrounds our own personal goals in life…… unselfishly usually to keep others around us happy. I myself am about 50/50 out to the people that matter, I categorised my friends with my wife into three groups…… 1, Accepting, 2, Tolerant and 3, The arrrrrrghhh help me out of here group. After a pretty easy ride through telling Mum, Dad and my Sister I made the decision to tackle the tolerant group of friends first, always backed… Read more »
I do agree with your #s & your basic logic , The Real complication can be the severity of the rejection – I would be unemployed faster than you can say “fix your makeup" If they found out at work (boss/co-workers or even many customers) – If even 1/2 of one % became violent–that’s a problem– I am Out to family/neighbors & what few friends I have– It wouldn’t take much time off work to lose my house ect since my wife died & I’m down to one income- so now I Rarely go out in public dressed-
-Do you want to be a woman?-Do you like guys (sexually)?-Did you steal my lipstick?
My answers:
-No, but I do enjoy dressing as one
-No, not at all
-OK, you caught me
Staci…