Why do we cross dress? Why does it give us such a rush? An inexplicable sense of fulfillment when we dress and act in ways a woman does? I think the answer lies in understanding the masculine and feminine qualities.


Every individual, whether male or female, possesses both feminine and masculine qualities in a psychological sense. The feminine qualities are the emotions that nurture and bond human beings (without expecting any materialistic returns). These emotions include love, care, empathy, desire to see happiness in others etc. etc. The masculine qualities are oriented towards materialistic achievements. They are focus, passion, persistence etc. Even though both qualities are important, the world gives high value to masculine qualities and undermines the feminine qualities. But, A true human being (Whether male or female) is the one who masters and balances both the feminine and masculine qualities. I read in swami Vivekananda’s biography that ”A perfect human being possesses a masculine outer shell and a feminine inner core”. Thus, psychologically speaking, every individual in the world falls somewhere in the non-binary gender spectrum. So everyone is psychologically transgender by nature 🙂. Both the masculine and feminine emotions are powerful and they give us unique kind of joy and fulfillment when experienced.

A CD/TG male person is the one who is psychologically more receptive to the joys that feminine qualities bring (Since birth). Thus, from early childhood on-wards, he slowly develops the desire to indulge in feminine activities. But the real world keeps discouraging and pounding that innocent boy whenever he tries to express these feminine desires. The boy eventually learns to deny his feelings to escape from the embarrassing and frightening scenarios that he would otherwise encounter. The boy grows to be a Man, with him his desire to express these feelings also grows. The longer these feelings are suppressed, the more painful it gets for him to contain them further. That’s why, whenever he dresses in feminine clothing, a part of those suppressed feelings is released and he feels a deep sense of satisfaction within. The real reason for this happiness is the stopping of his “Self-denial”. If the man stops his self-denial and accepts his feminine part, he may not feel such a rush after cross dressing after all!

En Femme Discover Woman Within

Then why should we stop our self-denial, after all, this is what is protecting us from getting exposed in the society? A simple answer is: continuous self-denial = self-damage.  When we deny a part of our self for long periods of time, we cause multitudes of negative effects on our personality. They, include, lack of self-respect, self-loathing, depression, anxiety, over indulging etc. etc. All these make us more vulnerable to various kinds of addictions ranging from porn addiction to drugs and alcohol abuse. If things remain this way for a long enough time, one can even develop suicidal tendencies.

So, my dear sisters, I urge us all to love our feminine self. After all, she is such a beautiful woman. She is a god’s gift to us, and by denying her we commit nothing but sin. Love her, and be proud to have her in your life, and more importantly understand her. I know it can be scary to accept her, what if accepting her too much blows my cover? Don’t worry, have faith in your deeds, everything will come in your way at the right time. All she needs is that look of acceptance in the eyes of a few people (Your self-included).  Can’t we give her that much?

With Love,


Have you totally accepted the feminine side of you now without any feelings of guilt or shame attached to your thrill of cross dressing?

How old were you on the very first day or night of your cross dressing and what type of feelings were you experiencing?

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Do you feel pride in being a cross dresser now or are you still trying to hide it, suppress it, or simply trying to rid yourself of cross dressing from your life right now? And if you’ve gone through ridding yourself of cross dressing with a total purge of all of your feminine items, do you wish now you never purged in the first place?



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Kalyani V

I am a married MTF trnsgender in my early 30s.

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Funny Zully
Funny Zully (@alice)
6 months ago

Because appearance helps us feel confident and convenient for work.

Amanda Woods
Amanda Woods (@amandawoods)
5 months ago

Very good article, thanks for sharing

skippy1965 Cynthia
Trusted Member
skippy1965 Cynthia (@skippy1965)
5 months ago

Well written Kalyani! Thanks for sharing your thoughts so eloquenly.

Stephanie Kennedy
Active Member
Stephanie Kennedy (@qtestephy)
5 months ago

Hi Kalyani I enjoyed reading your article. Very well written and well thought out. Acceptance was very difficult for me. Trying to maintain to genders is so difficult for me. It would of been so much easier to have a body that matched my brain.. My clothes would certainly fit better fit better. Luv Stephanie

Liza Mellinger
Liza Mellinger (@liza)
4 months ago

Thank you. I appreciate these thoughts and will continue to consider them as I try to figure myself out.

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