Fear is our biggest problem. Fear causes us to limit our potential and hide our issues under a blanket of false happiness. The real problem with coming out isn’t the people we will upset, or the privileges we might lose. It is our fear of the unknown. Because we don’t know what is going to happen, we shy away from changes that can make us so much stronger and happier. We retreat into our shells and pretend our lives are safe, while underneath we are going insane and losing hope.
This is an attitude of “Why me?” It is how we all start out, if we are honest. We question our existence, blame others for our problems, and don’t trust anyone. And we only continue to feed our problems and feel even more sad and alone. And this is all because of the fear of being outed. I developed this fear, and a “Why me?” attitude to go along with it. I was so scared that my life was going to change forever, that I would lose my family, friends, job, and everything. I wanted to be able to express my femininity freely. But I blamed my problems on my situation, and I buried my true self in a safety net of sadness and skepticism. I was afraid of everything, and trusted nobody.
But, what if we could overcome this fear, this shame, this limitation? The truth is that all of us can overcome any fear. Every single person in this world can move beyond fear and into confidence. And the best news is that there is only one step!
Simply turn your “Why me?” attitude into a “Why not?” attitude.
A “Why not?” attitude says, “I am awesome the way I am, so there is no reason for me to question myself. I am doing what I love, what I know is right for me. So, why not?”
By shifting our attitude and focus from defending ourselves to improving ourselves, we can see past the risks, hurdles, and bullies, to a much better tomorrow. Instead of blaming others for hurting us, and being scared to take on the bullies, we can be bigger than them. We can use their insults as fuel for our own personal fire. We can grow through the experience. We can see the worst possible outcome and smile because it is at least better than where we started.
Don’t ask “What might happen?” Ask, “What do I need to change?” Instead of saying, “I could lose everything.” Remember, “I have nothing important to lose.” And trade your, “I can’t do this” for a proud and confident, “What can stop me?”
I have chosen to take a “Why not?” attitude, and it has made me happier and more confident in my own self. Is it scary? Risky? Am I afraid? Yes, I am very afraid. But there is incredible power in facing our fears – that power is freedom. The freedom of removing those things in my life that hold me back, and conquering those things that try to stop me. So what if I get hurt along the way? Pain is only as permanent as our focus on it. Loss is balanced by gain. Our scars make us unique, and share our story. So, what do I really have to lose? Not enough to ever make me stop. And even though I’m not where I ultimately want to be, I’m going to move forward and improve my life, step by step, and celebrate every little victory I can.
So I encourage you, when it comes to the change you want in your life, and the fears you face, ask yourself, “Why not!”Tags: Crossdresser Acceptance crossdresser encouragement