This article is inspired by a reply I wrote in a thread. I stopped having two personas years ago and now I’m just me. So when I say “we” I’m talking about how I was before.
Most of us grew up with the notion that some ways of thinking and acting are solidly feminine while others are soundly masculine. The two are largely different concepts. East is east and west is west and never the twain shall meet. Except they do, twice: the Prime Meridian and the anti-meridian. The anti-meridian is the Prime Meridian on the other side of the world. Although there are exceptions, I’m sure most of us are meridians. That is to say, there are places where masculine and feminine exist together.
We take some bits and call them our female persona. We take some other bits and call them our masculine persona. Where do these two seemingly opposite personas come from? We didn’t make them up out of whole cloth. Those bits are taken from the same source: our true selves.
It seems to me that the healthy way to live is to stop forcing those two personas to exist separately; being one or the other depending on the situation and own the fact that it’s really just us chickens in here. There’s just one of us inside and that person happens to have traits that are considered masculine, some that are considered feminine, and others that are gender neutral.
It’s not an easy or a quick process. We have to actively let go of the preconceived notions we have. The feeling when you finally get there is deliciously indescribable. You’re a lot happier, a lot more peaceful, and feel a lot less stress. I imagine it’s what it feels like to be the sole winner of the Powerball lotto in three states on the same day, each one worth hundreds of millions of dollars.
However, your journey isn’t quite done. It truly is a paradigm shift. It takes a little getting used to, but before long you’ll stop thinking of it as dual nature. It’s just you, for good or bad. Eventually, you’ll stop caring whether thoughts or feelings are masculine or feminine. You’ll be aware of that fact, but rather than letting it limit you, you’ll use it as a guide in determining whether to share it with a specific person or not. For example; although I know there’s nothing wrong with me thinking the Kremlin building lit up at night looks pretty (come on, can you honestly think of a better word to describe it?) there are some people I’d really rather not share that with, thank you very much.
It doesn’t mean you won’t occasionally share or do something without thinking. If you’re thinking about going out dressed later that evening with your SO, you might accidentally sign your female name on an important document at work. Maybe that night your favorite song will play and you’ll be so caught up in memories that you introduce yourself as your male name. You’re human after all. If you didn’t slip up once in a blue moon you wouldn’t really be human.
If you do get there, be proud of yourself. Not just because you’ve accomplished it, but because most people go their whole lives without even getting close to doing it themselves. I’m willing to bet that it never even occurs to them it’s possible, let alone desirable.
So relax and enjoy it…