In Normal, a book written by Amy Bloom about transsexuals, crossdressers and the intersexed, an insightful comment about gender expression is given.
Not only is our society distressed by masculine women, feminine men, and the androgynous; even the big man who embroiders, or the wife and mother of three who has a black belt in tae kwon do, a buzz cut and no makeup in her gym bag, stirs a frisson of discomfort. Gender theorists love the gender nonconforming as examples of all sorts of things, fundamentalists fear and despise them, and whether they avoid our gaze or deliberately seek to disturb, they are the handy punch line for every fading sitcom.
I sometimes think that our culture is like the Church in the days of Galileo. We will not see, and we will silence and mock, even banish and punish, those who say that what is, is.
The insight isn’t that the transgendered struggle to be accepted by society needs to continue for a while. The insight is that the transgendered struggle is the struggle of all people who don’t fit into the classical model of gender. The transgendered are just those who happen to experience this “frisson of discomfort” most vividly.
I think this applies for crossdressers as well. The typical heterosexual part time crossdresser can go undetected and undiscovered by society. Her livelihood isn’t impacted by transitioning, her finances aren’t devastated by expensive surgeries (no girls, buy that expensive dress doesn’t count…) and her health isn’t jeopardized by a cocktail of hormones.
Largely, the impact of societies displeasure with gender non-conformance is limited to those few times the crossdresser ventures outdoors. She goes as undetected as the slightly feminine man, or slightly masculine woman. And she will benefit from the work of transsexuals and transgendered to bring acceptance to gender diversity.
My call to crossdressers action
If you’re a crossdresser, my call to action is to support the transgender community who is at the forefront of the struggle. Either through your time or financial support. A good organization to start with is the National Center for Transgender Equality.
Dear reader, please let me know if there are other organizations that are doing good work for the transgender community. I’d like to post a more complete list of transgender advocate organizations in the future.
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P.S. Look fabulous while making a difference for the transgender community with great advice from the World’s Best Crossdresser Guide
More Articles by Vanessa Law
- 7 Essential Tips to Crossdressing
- A Few Changes in Our Family
- I Want to Live Like That
- Hope in Despair, Light through the Darkness
- Scholar Program – Transwomen’s Social Support for Medication Adherence

Vanessa Law

Latest posts by Vanessa Law (see all)
- 7 Essential Tips to Crossdressing - January 4, 2024
- A Few Changes in Our Family - April 15, 2021
- I Want to Live Like That - August 29, 2020
- Hope in Despair, Light through the Darkness - March 22, 2020
- Scholar Program – Transwomen’s Social Support for Medication Adherence - April 6, 2019
You could argue that anyone who walks a slightly different path to the mainstream or who looks different from the average, puts themselves up for misunderstanding, mockery and otherwise. We, trannys (TVs, TGs, CDs – pick your label) get to hide under the radar. We don’t stand out (when dressed like men) and I wonder if that is holding back the acceptance movement that other folk (black, gay, etc) went through. Perhaps ours is a velvet revolution, just a slow shift towards the general public just not caring. Yes, there will always be bigots and danger, but TG people do… Read more »
You could argue that anyone who walks a slightly different path to the mainstream or who looks different from the average, puts themselves up for misunderstanding, mockery and otherwise. We, trannys (TVs, TGs, CDs – pick your label) get to hide under the radar. We don’t stand out (when dressed like men) and I wonder if that is holding back the acceptance movement that other folk (black, gay, etc) went through. Perhaps ours is a velvet revolution, just a slow shift towards the general public just not caring. Yes, there will always be bigots and danger, but TG people do… Read more »
Rats! A double post. Sorry!!!
I really appreciate your site and the information you are sharing. I have recently chosen to cross dress in a safe environment. I have wanted to do this for a long while (decades actually) but I’d kept the desire pushed to the back of my head. Your site has helped me to take the first steps and I am loving it. I have decided to start a blog to chronicle my journey and explore my female side. I have added a link to your site so that others can share what I’ve found here.
Many thanks!!
There is a lot of legwork which the Transgender community has done simply by doing part of our treatment plan, RLE Real Life Experience. For those of you who dont know what this is, it is when the TS/TG person has to live and work in their target gender; in my case that is female. We dont always have the benefit of months on hormones to feminize the body, we dont alway have the money for electro or laser. We do the best we can and take those first steps with frear and trepidation. I have found that in most… Read more »