The old Chinese proverbs talk about the yin and the yang. We are all possessed with both the yin and the yang, or the female and the male. It is when we are born that one of them dominates and that is what our outward appearance is going to be. But that is not to say the one that is not the dominant trait will not come alive at one time or another. And it all depends on how we acknowledge that fact as to how we wish to live our lives.

I grew up in a house with four sisters and my mom and they all had an influence on me, whether I admitted it to them or not. From around my early teenage years, I remember being somewhat jealous of all of them because of all the pretty clothes they got while I was getting the usual boy things. I was happy that they were so happy but deep down I wished that some of them were mine. When I got to be 15 I knew that I had to see for myself just how they looked on me. So when I had time to myself I took a few things out the see how they looked. It was so wonderful to see how they fit and how they felt. After that, any chance I got I wanted to try things on, making sure that I only took things that looked like they would fit me, considering that all of my sisters were different heights.

There were a few times that I almost got caught wearing something, and even though it scared the daylights out of me, I couldn’t seem to help myself. As they all got older, (considering that I was the oldest) their tastes began to change and that only gave me more options to try on. Whether it was dresses, skirts, blouses, or lingerie, there always seemed to be something to try on and indulge my fantasies. And even when going out with girls, I always seemed to compliment them on what they were wearing, which made them feel good. I guessed then that making women feel that someone was paying attention to their appearance made them feel good about themselves.

Time marched on and I got married and stopped dressing up, but I still paid attention to clothes. About 10 years ago the urges started to come back. But now since I had a good job, I was able to start to create my own little wardrobe. Just a few things at first, all the while getting stares from sales girls when I went in to buy lingerie or looking at racks of clothes. I was a little timid at first but now I feel so comfortable shopping for myself that I just smile back at them.

Meanwhile, I feel the genes that have been passed down from my mom make me feel so happy about the choices I have made for myself. And to slide on, whenever I can, those Gloria Vanderbilt jeans lets me feel that the women in my life are so lucky to put these on anytime they want. I don’t go out in them but I feel like a woman when they are on. That’s when I know that the yin is coming to the forefront. And that’s OK by me.

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Renee T

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Robbi
Lady

Lovely Renee! You tell something of my own story. I let my Yin and Yang dance and sometimes they juxtapose as I slip into delightful lingerie, pull on my Calvin’s and go to the garage where I’m restoring a car.

Robbi
Lady

I wanted to add…the other day my wife was at the gym and I was cleaning the kitchen…in short shorts, bra, camisole and some nice medium heels. As I mopped, the FedEx guy knocks on the door.!.! Oh well, I open up, he hands me a package and I sign and thank him. I wondered if at the end of the day, FedEx guys stop into a local haunt and tell stories about what they saw during their rounds. I’m guessing the next FedEx package will be delivered with some anticipation….maybe not too serious anticipation, but anticipation none the less.… Read more »

Sandy
Guest
Sandy

Renee, Thank you for the article. I can relate in so many ways. I too was raised in my formidable years my mother, aunt and two sisters. Also, there were no boys my age in the neighborhood to play with so I played with dolls and played “Dress-up” with the neighbor girls. After we moved it was I spend a lot of time with my grandparents and my youngest aunt still lived at home. She just loved dressing me in her dresses (I loved it too). Had stretches where I thought I was over the desire to dress-up but then… Read more »

Squeak
Guest
Squeak

Yes, Renee T, please write more articles. You have an excellent style and way with words. I enjoyed reading this one very much.

I was an only child. So, I guess I can only blame my mother. Also, I believe my father wanted a daughter. I envy all of you that had sisters.

Tonya Annalise
Guest
Tonya Annalise

Great article !! I, too , can relate to this . I didn’t choose this …. it chose me . I embrace it tenderly now . For the longest time , I thought it was just a dressing up fetish . Then I realized that it was much , much more . Mere clothes only made me more depressed because I felt I wasn’t a real woman because I was JUST DRESSING, in my mind . I’ve been on hormones now foe almost three years , and I wouldn’t trade it for the world! Embrace your womanhood , ladies !… Read more »

Michelle
Guest
Michelle

Renee T.; I know those feelings sooo well. When my mother was pregnant with me, they were certain I was a girl, and my mother even had a name picked out for me. Imagine their surprise when I popped out. Well; I’m absolutely sure their “girl” predictions were correct; but a mix up happened with the body. So; here I be! LOL. Love those jeans and the fit Renee.

Tonya Annalise
Guest
Tonya Annalise

Michelle…… I too was thought to be a girl while in the womb . My name was to be Amber , my mom said . Growing up with this was hard , as in “ my day “ , you didn’t go around telling , let alone showing people your gender identity if it was other than what you were born with . So I became an alpha male , martial arts , wrestling, bodybuilding, muscle cars and the Marine Corps . Then my problems came . But my brother said some profound words one day . He said “… Read more »

Nolene Venus
Lady

Hi tonya i too have always been into weights bodybuilding rugby football done those ignored my femme side which came and went didnt want to know it at all thought i was too macho then i tried a little lingerei now and then but now my femme side has become much stronger and wont be denied wife does not know i now wear panties full time and get away with it dress a little when i can i want to become nolene hugs nolene

Peta
Guest
Peta

Thank you Renee for that lovely note I see myself in you. I have a lovely figure and look so nice in a camisole and panties I know I should have been a girl and my sister should have been a boy Peta.

Emily
Lady
Member

Thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts, Renee. The theme is very familiar, but I love reading about the journeys of others. I wear nothing but ladies jeans now, as well as many other articles of ladies clothing daily, even to church on sundays and work everyday. The young ladies who work for me know about my femme side, because I told them. A couple pairs of jeans I wear regularly actually used to belong to one of the young ladies. She gets the biggest kick out of seeing me wearing some of her hand me downs. If… Read more »

Dan
Guest
Dan

Great story, I have tried to let my wife know I love to dress. But every time I do I stop because she gives me that look. I love to wear hosiery under my pants. Its easy in the winter as I play it off as I need them for warmth. Hopefully one day I can express my true inner girl. Love the story keep it it up.

Stephanie
Lady
Member

I also grew up with 4 sisters. I could have written the article you wrote. I had 2 older, and 2 younger sisters so I had an unlimited supply of clothes. I loved to wear their prom dresses and nylons. Yes, I am that old that they wore nylons and garter belts. The choices of lingerie were mind boggling! I was caught by my oldest sister, who unknown to me, had known I was wearing the girls clothes. I have to thank her for being such an understanding person. She taught me a how to be a girl.

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