The old Chinese proverbs talk about the yin and the yang. We are all possessed with both the yin and the yang, or the female and the male. It is when we are born that one of them dominates and that is what our outward appearance is going to be. But that is not to say the one that is not the dominant trait will not come alive at one time or another. And it all depends on how we acknowledge that fact as to how we wish to live our lives.
I grew up in a house with four sisters and my mom and they all had an influence on me, whether I admitted it to them or not. From around my early teenage years, I remember being somewhat jealous of all of them because of all the pretty clothes they got while I was getting the usual boy things. I was happy that they were so happy but deep down I wished that some of them were mine. When I got to be 15 I knew that I had to see for myself just how they looked on me. So when I had time to myself I took a few things out the see how they looked. It was so wonderful to see how they fit and how they felt. After that, any chance I got I wanted to try things on, making sure that I only took things that looked like they would fit me, considering that all of my sisters were different heights.
There were a few times that I almost got caught wearing something, and even though it scared the daylights out of me, I couldn’t seem to help myself. As they all got older, (considering that I was the oldest) their tastes began to change and that only gave me more options to try on. Whether it was dresses, skirts, blouses, or lingerie, there always seemed to be something to try on and indulge my fantasies. And even when going out with girls, I always seemed to compliment them on what they were wearing, which made them feel good. I guessed then that making women feel that someone was paying attention to their appearance made them feel good about themselves.
Time marched on and I got married and stopped dressing up, but I still paid attention to clothes. About 10 years ago the urges started to come back. But now since I had a good job, I was able to start to create my own little wardrobe. Just a few things at first, all the while getting stares from sales girls when I went in to buy lingerie or looking at racks of clothes. I was a little timid at first but now I feel so comfortable shopping for myself that I just smile back at them.
Meanwhile, I feel the genes that have been passed down from my mom make me feel so happy about the choices I have made for myself. And to slide on, whenever I can, those Gloria Vanderbilt jeans lets me feel that the women in my life are so lucky to put these on anytime they want. I don’t go out in them but I feel like a woman when they are on. That’s when I know that the yin is coming to the forefront. And that’s OK by me.
Lovely Renee! You tell something of my own story. I let my Yin and Yang dance and sometimes they juxtapose as I slip into delightful lingerie, pull on my Calvin’s and go to the garage where I’m restoring a car.
I wanted to add…the other day my wife was at the gym and I was cleaning the kitchen…in short shorts, bra, camisole and some nice medium heels. As I mopped, the FedEx guy knocks on the door.!.! Oh well, I open up, he hands me a package and I sign and thank him. I wondered if at the end of the day, FedEx guys stop into a local haunt and tell stories about what they saw during their rounds. I’m guessing the next FedEx package will be delivered with some anticipation….maybe not too serious anticipation, but anticipation none the less.… Read more »
Thanks for reading the article Robbi and I am so happy to hear from you. That is a great story about the FedEx guy. I am sure that all of these guys have seen quite a lot during their deliveries. Was the outfit your own or did you do some borrowing from your wife? Maybe the next time they might even pay you a compliment! I do love this site also. It is a wonderful place to exchange ideas and stories and it is so heartwarming to know that there are so many more beautiful people out there who share… Read more »
Renee, I was wearing my own skirt and top. My wife doesn’t really like that I wear some of what I have, but she doesn’t care about the panties and bra….she is really private and doesn’t want others to judge me as some kind of crazy. I love my femme side a LOT, and Iove her a lot too, so I’ll accept limitations that keep her comfy. But….that little skirt makes me crazy! xoxox
Robbi, I am the same way. I have all of my own things and never want to borrow something from my wife. I do love the way my skirts feel while I am walking around the house or sitting down. I am extremely private about it also and have no thoughts now about changing that. Take care and enjoy your femme side like i love to. xoxo
Renee, Thank you for the article. I can relate in so many ways. I too was raised in my formidable years my mother, aunt and two sisters. Also, there were no boys my age in the neighborhood to play with so I played with dolls and played “Dress-up" with the neighbor girls. After we moved it was I spend a lot of time with my grandparents and my youngest aunt still lived at home. She just loved dressing me in her dresses (I loved it too). Had stretches where I thought I was over the desire to dress-up but then… Read more »
Thanks so much Sandy. It’s a joy to hear some positive stories like yours about family and letting you explore and find yourself. Enjoy all of your outings exploring your femme side. Hopefully you can do some fun things like go to a beauty salon or maybe just some shopping.
Renee
Yes, Renee T, please write more articles. You have an excellent style and way with words. I enjoyed reading this one very much.
I was an only child. So, I guess I can only blame my mother. Also, I believe my father wanted a daughter. I envy all of you that had sisters.
Thank you so much Squeak. I will definitely post a few more things in the upcoming weeks. So, did your mom tell you that she wished she had a daughter or did your dad let you explore your feminine side?
Renee
Great article !! I, too , can relate to this . I didn’t choose this …. it chose me . I embrace it tenderly now . For the longest time , I thought it was just a dressing up fetish . Then I realized that it was much , much more . Mere clothes only made me more depressed because I felt I wasn’t a real woman because I was JUST DRESSING, in my mind . I’ve been on hormones now foe almost three years , and I wouldn’t trade it for the world! Embrace your womanhood , ladies !… Read more »
Thank you so much Tonya. I so envy you that you have taken the next step and embraced what we all feel as you explore all that it is to become a woman.
Renee
Renee T.; I know those feelings sooo well. When my mother was pregnant with me, they were certain I was a girl, and my mother even had a name picked out for me. Imagine their surprise when I popped out. Well; I’m absolutely sure their “girl" predictions were correct; but a mix up happened with the body. So; here I be! LOL. Love those jeans and the fit Renee.
Michelle…… I too was thought to be a girl while in the womb . My name was to be Amber , my mom said . Growing up with this was hard , as in “ my day “ , you didn’t go around telling , let alone showing people your gender identity if it was other than what you were born with . So I became an alpha male , martial arts , wrestling, bodybuilding, muscle cars and the Marine Corps . Then my problems came . But my brother said some profound words one day . He said “… Read more »
Hi tonya i too have always been into weights bodybuilding rugby football done those ignored my femme side which came and went didnt want to know it at all thought i was too macho then i tried a little lingerei now and then but now my femme side has become much stronger and wont be denied wife does not know i now wear panties full time and get away with it dress a little when i can i want to become nolene hugs nolene
Thanks so much Michelle. I wish that picture was of me wearing those jeans. I need to get a picture of mine and post it on here. Maybe next week! Even though out outer bodies don’t really show it, we can let our inner femme side come out whenever we can.
Thank you Renee for that lovely note I see myself in you. I have a lovely figure and look so nice in a camisole and panties I know I should have been a girl and my sister should have been a boy Peta.
Thank you so much Peta. There are times when I feel the same way about my sisters and I. What if one of us would switch. I think I look pretty good in a bra and panties also and love to wear them whenever I can.
Thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts, Renee. The theme is very familiar, but I love reading about the journeys of others. I wear nothing but ladies jeans now, as well as many other articles of ladies clothing daily, even to church on sundays and work everyday. The young ladies who work for me know about my femme side, because I told them. A couple pairs of jeans I wear regularly actually used to belong to one of the young ladies. She gets the biggest kick out of seeing me wearing some of her hand me downs. If… Read more »
I just love your story Ashieigh. The fact that the women who work for you are that accepting and will even share some of their things with you. Do you talk often with them about styles and what everyone likes to wear? At least I would guess they would not think it is creepy talking about it with you since they are comfortable knowing that is what you like to wear. Thanks for sharing.
Great story, I have tried to let my wife know I love to dress. But every time I do I stop because she gives me that look. I love to wear hosiery under my pants. Its easy in the winter as I play it off as I need them for warmth. Hopefully one day I can express my true inner girl. Love the story keep it it up.
Thanks Dan. I do know that look. It is a little easier in winter to hide wearing some things and I do like the fact that I am home by myself a lot during this time of the year. So I can dress a little more often. Keep that inner girl alive and hopefully one day she might be able to surface.
I also grew up with 4 sisters. I could have written the article you wrote. I had 2 older, and 2 younger sisters so I had an unlimited supply of clothes. I loved to wear their prom dresses and nylons. Yes, I am that old that they wore nylons and garter belts. The choices of lingerie were mind boggling! I was caught by my oldest sister, who unknown to me, had known I was wearing the girls clothes. I have to thank her for being such an understanding person. She taught me a how to be a girl.
Thank you Stephanie. I know that sometimes sisters might be a bother but when we could sneak into their closet and drawers for an endless supply of nice things that made it all worthwhile to have them there. That was so nice of your oldest sister to be so understanding and want to show you the way. Are you still close to any of them?