With the holidays far behind us, I want to recount a gift exchange story; it’s never a bad time to get a holiday gift is the one that we should practice all year long.

I attended my wife’s office party/meal recently where the table set up formed a large rectangle. Seventeen board members and many of the staff employed by the company were all in attendance. Only a handful of them, that I am aware, fully know about Char. We arrived fashionable late due to icy roads; well, we were the last couple to arrive…oops. As we entered the golf and country club, where the dinner was held, every eye in the room turned toward us.

I had chosen to leave my prosthetic breasts at home for the evening simply because this was a very unfamiliar environment for me. I did, however, wear eye shadow and mascara, sparkly dangling earrings, the beautiful aqua color sketcher sneakers my wife gifted me, and skinny jeans with and a cute ¾ sleeve T top. The side bang curled around my face and my high pony tail were complimented by the amazing scent of the Dolche’ & Gabbana perfume. I felt so pretty.

Walking in, I instantly felt my pulse quicken. My heart pounded in my ears and for a moment I wanted nothing more than to turn and bolt for the door, as if my head was on fire. From out of an adjacent room, a lady came rushing over to us, throwing out her arms for hugs; “Oh I’m sooo grateful you’re here,” she whispered, “this place sooo needs you guys,” and that’s when the gift exchange began.

I don’t mean the physical stuff; I mean the incredible gift the unaware folks were giving me to rise above the shame, and in return, the amazing gift I was offering to each of them to practice the skill of non-judgement, acceptance, and more.

So often Beautiful, Amazing souls like you and I are carrying deep feelings of shame and guilt in our back pack for a lifetime, simply because of who we are and how we choose to decorate our bodies.

I realized one profound shift in perception, from within that moment, which changed everything for me that evening and beyond.

I made the shift in perception by changing my assumptions. Instead of imagining the others as possible judgmental mockers, haters, or even just unaware, I chose to see them as students and teachers.

As “teachers” they afforded me the opportunity to stand confident and tall and to practice the Life Skill of living independently of the good opinion of others. As a student, I accepted the opportunity to practice this skill, and with a few deep breaths, I proceeded to do just that, practice.

As a teacher, I was offering my “students” the opportunity to meet face-to-face, close-up and personal, with an intelligent, non-threatening, very respectfully dressed crossdresser/trans person, whose only intention was to share kindness, humor, and acceptance.

As the evening moved forward, a great many of the people came over and crouched beside my chair to chat. The conversations were both amazing and wonderful!

The following week, I attended the Christmas supper of the company I work with. This time, I wore my breasts forms with the same outfit I’d worn at my wife’s function, and once again I practiced exchanging gifts. The vast majority in attendance appreciated the gift while only a few did not see the gift.

My playpen got bigger as I offered the gift of insight and the opportunity for them to experience me both authentically and genuine.

However you may celebrate, if you celebrate at all, giving the gift of allowing the world to see you and experience you in all your amazing beauty is the most wonderful gift each of us has to give, and not something to feel ashamed of.

I Am practicing…

The first step is to give that gift to ourselves ladies and silence that inner-critic by showing it that we are simply exchanging gifts with one another; there’s no victim in that. In fact, it feels amazingly empowering as I watch my own playpen get bigger and bigger. I know for certain that yours can too as you practice living independently of the good opinion of others and shift your perception to the gift exchange.

It’s been working very well for me thus far. I offer this gift to each of you and a Thaaaank-you to each of you who has given me this opportunity to share stories like this one with you; you’re a part of my family.

I wish you all every wonderful thing you can imagine; All-Ways

Namaste’

n Huggles

Char

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Dropping out of high school I began touring in the Canadian country music scene at age 17; clubs and soft seat venues, drummer/vocalist for 22 years. After 4 suicide attempts and heavy cocaine etc addiction issues, i decided to learn Self-Acceptance as apposed to self-hatred. I became a student of the Universe and an Instructor of Life Skills at a local College while operating a Private Coaching Practice. Currently, I am rebuilding the Life Coaching practice after a couple years of more personal work well under way. I am also creating online opportunities that will serve our world community…and our world in understanding how I leaned the life skills of Intentionally and Consciously Creating an Amazing Life filled with Passion, Purpose & Prosperity...

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10 Comments
  1. *skippy1965(Cynthia) 6 months ago

    Char,
    As always you elucidate very well the conundrum we all face; we want to be accepted but we fear the rejection – so often we reject ourselves and in so doing deny ourselves the honor and privilege of being the student and teacher you describe. Only be taking the leap of faith (after accepting ourselves as worthy of being treated as well as any other human being) can we show the world that they have nothing to fear from us and we will find that in MOST (though not quite ALL ) cases we have little to fear from the world!

    My own playpen has grown from the tiny dark confines of my bedroom to encompass much of the world including stores, restaurants, airplanes/airports, and yes even (SOME) of my family and friends. Thank you for an inspiring article!
    Cyn

    • Author
      Char 6 months ago

      I am soooo proud of you Cyn, what an adventure hey? I am constantly reminded of that phrase; “the world is like a stage and we are all just actors”. If THAT belief could be adopted, like deeply, then the fear starts to slip away…
      Thanks for being you Dear, ‘Courage is not the absence of fear, but the ability to take an action in spite of it” doing one thing each day that expands our freedoms simply as people on a planet…I Love who you are Cynthia 🙂
      Namaste’
      n huggles girl
      Char

  2. Leslie Ravenous 6 months ago

    Make it happen girl!

    • Author
      Char 6 months ago

      Ditto Baby hahahaha oooooh yeah !!

      Namaste’
      n huggles 4 ya Leslie girl
      Char

  3. Chrissy Landwer 6 months ago

    I am hoping to transition soon and although I am aware of my self, I am looking for a greater understanding. Your articular offers the reminder that there are many compassionate people out there and we need to try to remember that.
    Thank you
    Chris

    • Author
      Char 6 months ago

      Thaaank you Chrissy; it’s been my experience that the person who attacks me the most is inside my own head, not out side.
      My dad used to say, “if you conquer your fear, you’ll conquer theirs” I have found that to be true, Hmmm there’s an article in that haha.
      The more I “act” confident, the more I am seen as confident and am treated as a confident person…make sense? hehe
      I use the mirror to remind me that “I Am Okay” in the world, only one opinion truly needs to matter anyway hehe

      Namaste’
      n huggles Chrissy
      Char

  4. In life….to make a new friend, one must extend a hand first. Will it be licked or will it be bitten? You’ll never know unless you extend that hand! Life is a gamble……….odds on finding a friend are 50 percent, not making one is 50 percent. Not even trying is 100 percent loss. God gave us two hands……a spare unless the main one is lost……..we can try again!

    Amen and may God Bless

    Dame Veronica

    • Author
      Char 5 months ago

      the only regret I will never suffer from,,,not trying 🙂
      hehehe Thanks Dear

      Namaste’
      n huggles always
      Char

  5. Lea 6 months ago

    Hi Char. Thank you for posting, I like your advice about silencing the inner-critic.

    • Author
      Char 5 months ago

      Thaaaank you Lea; I am grateful for you saying 🙂 sometimes thats the only thing we need to do. This past week, I wore a snug deep V neck T with skinny jeans, make up and those sweet aqua n pink sketchers. earrings, eye make up and B cups.
      Although the monkey mind was going 10,000 miles an hour with self jugment, the eyes of every person I met, said nothing more than, Hello, nice to see you my friend…
      I felt so pretty, accepted and comfortable in each shop, even the massive green house full of perfume, I felt amazing…after a while the silence in my head was so wonderful that all my aware senses were olfactory hahaha
      gotta love that!! hahaha

      Namaste’
      n huggles Girl 🙂
      Char

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