I was going about my business the other day, as one would on any regular day. I was finishing up some errands before heading home to get ready for an evening out with friends. It must have been one too many Peppermint Teas – which I’ll admit are now my all time favorite and are doing their best to keep my newly kicked coffee addiction at bay – when I just had to go. I rushed into the ladies room to ensure that the tea took it’s rightful place in the circle of life. Cue Elton John, juxtapose African wildlife with a sewage treatment plant, music crescendos.
Then it hit me.
There is only one toilet
I’ll never again enter a men’s bathroom.
Not that I consider this much of a loss. Stepping over puddles of urine and trying to avoid all manner of foul odors and hygiene faux pas was never high on my exciting weekend activities.
But it hit me hard. If they introduced a new technology in male urine capture, I would be obvious to it. I’d never get to use the spray-guard 2000 urinal with build in mini-game and real time facebook score tracking. This was it.
Forever I’d have to make do with the pleasantly scented and relaxing confines of the ladies. With it’s walls adorned with artwork, vases overflowing with flowers and floors suspiciously clean and urine free.
With Great Toilet Power Comes Great Responsibility
As I brushed my hair and checked my makeup in the restroom this morning I pondered my earlier advice to crossdressers about using the ladies bathroom. Find a private restroom if possible, get in and out quickly, smile and be confident. When there is only one toilet this advice no longer holds true. It’s not practical to confine myself to single-use restrooms, or to leave my makeup in a state because I couldn’t touch it up for fear of lingering.
This is real life now – there is only one toilet. I’ll wield it’s power wisely.
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