Tags: Crossdressing Cure

Let us take a piss!

Categories: Transgender Info
Comments: 4 Comments
Published on: March 29, 2008

I regularly post on Yahoo Answers, answering questions about the transgendered and cross dressing. (My Yahoo profile). I really enjoy helping people come to terms with their transgenderedness, or that of a loved one. Recently Fire Falcon answered a question about the transgendered using the ladies bathroom, and I thought it was too good not to share with all of you:

[[One of my friends was ranting about how some transvestite was saying he wanted to be able to go to the ladies’ bathroom and all this other crap.]]
So what? A bathroom is for taking a leak and other such things. While I don’t necessarily agree with transvestites or crossdressers using the bathroom of the gender they are presenting as, I have no issue with it because GASP… Dressing like a girl and going into the men’s bathroom is asking to get your face beat in, and there’s already too much violence and hatred in this messed up world.

A transvestite, transgender nor a transsexual is coming in there to peer at your goodies or try and rape you– they’re coming to use the bathroom they feel is right for them, so they don’t get the crap beat out of them in the other bathroom. Calling the cops on someone who runs in, tinkles, washes their hands and runs back out is not only absurd, but borderlines on cruel.

For god’s sake, let people take a piss.

I think that pretty much says it all…

Why do men cross dress?

Girl friends and wives want to know.

Why do men cross dress?

Why does my husband cross dress?

How can I make him stop cross dressing?

The unfortunate truth, is that there is no simple, one line answer to these questions. If there were, you probably wouldn’t be reading this article, and the debates on this topic would be silent.

In my personal experience, the fascination with woman’s clothes started when I was very young. I must have been about four years old, and I remember going to great lengths to procure and then wear my mom’s nightie. My most vivid memory is as a teenager, nervously buying a pair of pantyhose from a local supermarket and then wearing them home under my pants.

I felt (and still feel) a need to wear woman’s clothes, and I can’t quite explain where it comes from. The media like to think of cross dressing as a sexual perversion, and so naturally they see the desire to cross dress and purely for sexual gratification. The problem with this theory is that when I (and many others) first felt the desire to cross dress I didn’t know what sex was.

Many cross dressers I’ve asked describe the need as ‘feeling more comfortable wearing woman’s clothes’. This is sometimes (but not always) coupled with the desire to be seen as a woman. To not just dress like a woman, but behave like one as well, to wear make-up and otherwise pass as a woman. There are others who cross dress for sexual excitement. The need to cross dress is indeed a spectrum.

That still doesn’t answer the question why do men cross dress?

Marcy proposes a few interesting answers to this questions.

One argument is that transvestism of cross-dressing is a way of offering a challenge to society’s preconceptions about gender. Some men cross-dress because they are unhappy at being men. Others didn’t mind the male state, but also like to put on women’s clothes occasionally. Some men cross-dress simply to make a passing social or fashion statement, and some because they have emotional needs that can only be met by the comfort that wearing women’s clothes gives them.

Yet the true reason why men cross dress remains somewhat of a mystery. It is intensely personal, often confusing and sometimes guilt ridden. I’m hopeful that as society grows more tolerant of diverse gender expression we will see more cross dressers and transgendered stepping forward to share their stories. Without the need to justify their behavior, and no longer shamed by society perhaps we will be better able to answer this baffling question.

Comment and let me know, I would love to hear- why do you cross dress?

Sometimes the 'men of God' make me ashamed to be a Christian

In his quest to make ‘real men’ out of his parishioners Ken Hutcherson, pastor at the Antioch Bible Church in Kirkland, WA was quoted in a recent sermon saying:

“God hates soft men” and “God hates effeminate men.” He went on to say, “If I was in a drugstore and some guy opened the door for me, I’d rip his arm off and beat him with the wet end.”

Is that his answer to the question ‘What would Jesus Do?’

Perhaps king David was delusional when he said:

‘For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.’ – Psalms 139:13-14

Maybe the apostle John was misquoted in his old age when he said:

“Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.” – 1 John 7-8

It seems ‘God is love’ only holds as long as you’re not a soft man. And by soft, could Hutcherson perhaps mean: ‘sensitive, caring, kind and gentle’? Yes, that’s what I picture when I think of a soft man. It also sounds suspiciously like the fruits of the Holy spirit mentioned in Galatians 5:22. I guess that makes me worthy to be ‘beaten with the wet end’ of my own arm.

Now, pastor Ken tries to pass this off as a joke. If we believe him, it’s one made in extremely poor taste. Joke or no, I think it points to something deeper – to the doctrine of hate being preached in so many churches across the country.

It is unfortunate that senior leadership among many Christian denominations has allowed themselves to be defined by what they hate. Anti-abortion and anti-gay. Against pre-marital sex and against gay marriage. Somewhere in all the rhetoric, the message of hope, faith and love Jesus Christ came to preach is lost. Along with that, we Christians are losing the ability to influence others for the kingdom of God. We are no longer seen as a refuge from the world, but rather a group of people who will heap on judgement and guilt until the fragile, broken person has been molded into our own version of Christian virtue and purity. We no longer love people as they are, but rather as we believe they should be. Those who don’t conform are quickly tossed aside. Demonized and alone.

In the word’s of Dr Seuss, the Christian church is quickly becoming those who ‘don’t matter’.

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” -  Dr Seuss

Crossdressing is a sin

It must be, it says it right there in Deuteronomy 22:5

A woman must not wear men’s clothing, nor a man wear women’s clothing, for the LORD your God detests anyone who does this.

That seems pretty clear to me. Not only is it a sin, but a detestable sin. At least that’s what my pastor was kind enough to remind me when I went to him for advice. He was quick to point out that while God welcomed all children to His flock – even the hurt and broken – He did not intend for them to stay that way. I asked him for resources and support to help me overcome this and he pointed me to Randall’s website.

Now as you know I’ve previously written about being a Christian crossdresser, and I firmly believe that God can do more than we could ever hope for or imagine – He even has the power to cure crossdressing (if you think about it for a second, this is probably quite easy compared with healing the sick and raising the dead).

But if crossdressing were such a detestable sin, surely the Bible would be overflowing with admonishments against crossdressing. At least a mention in the New Testament, or a reaffirmation by another prophet in the Old Testament. What we have though is Deuteronomy 22:5. Which happens to be only six verses away from Deuteronomy 22:11

Do not wear clothes of wool and linen woven together

And Deuteronomy 22:12

Make tassels on the four corners of the cloak you wear

Now I’m sure that every good Bible believing Christian checks to ensure their clothes aren’t made from different materials, and is diligent about making tassels for their coats. Surely being just six verses away would make these commandments as important and worthy of fervor? Not so it seems. The inconvenient laws from the Old Testament ‘no longer apply to modern society’. It seems somewhat hypocritical to me that Christians would use this verse to damn the transgendered as sinners and heretics. Joanna does this line of reasoning full justice when she discusses Crossdressing and Christianity

Randall constructs a compelling argument that crossdressing is not Christian. It is worth reading, he begins:

While searching for an answer to the question of cross-dressing being a sin, I realized that I was looking for a black and white literal answer in the Word that was not there. My reasoning was that if the prohibition was not there, it was OK to cross-dress. Later, I realized that was the same attitude the Pharisees had in Jesus’ day – they would strain at observing all of the “must dos,” but they would create all kinds of ways to follow the law literally while breaking it in spirit. It occurred to me that on this issue, I had become a legalist! (more)

Clearly crossdressing is not a sin, any more than eating pork or wearing clothes made of different fabrics. Given this we should should not be willing to accept the condemnation of others, especially not Christians. As Paul says in Romans 2:1

You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgement on someone else, for whatever point you judge the other, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgement do the same things.

And in rejecting the condemnation of others, we should realize that Jesus Christ does not condemn us.

For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because he has not believed in the name of God’s one and only Son. – John 3:17-18

So we have accepted that crossdressing is not a sin, but what of the other lines of reasoning Randall puts forth? I’ll discuss those in more detail in a future post. In ending this post I want to again urge you.

Don’t let anyone else tell you that crossdressing is ‘right’ any more than you let anyone tell you that crossdressing is a sin. Your true purpose in life is known to God, and revealed to you through your relationship with Him. He may want to cure you, change your heart, or use you to bring comfort and blessing to others. Be open to His plan for your life.

Hugs and Blessings

Vanessa

They say there is no cure for crossdressing

Search the Internet for “cure crossdressing”, and you’ll find a plethora of web pages telling you that there is no cure for crossdressing. They’ll have this statement in bold, italics, capitalized, as if it were some golden truth to center your life on.

The next thing they’ll do is lambaste anyone for suggesting that it is something that needs curing (surely only diseases need curing?!). I’ll address the second point in a later post. As you can see by my previous post I don’t believe that crossdressing is ‘evil’, ‘wrong’, ‘sin’, or anything of that nature. These judgments are distracting and only serve to allow one group of people to feel superior to another, and cover over flaws they perceive in themselves.

I’ll tackle the question of being ‘incurable’ first.

We have a mistaken notion that because we do not know how something is cured, that it is not possible for there to be a cure. You hear stories every week of people who have been cured from cancer without undergoing any treatment, and often just months after the doctor diagnosed them.

Hold on, isn’t cancer ‘incurable’? Or at best there is some chance that the treatment we give (chemo) could facilitate a cure (with no guarantees). How then , could these people be cured without any treatment?!
I don’t know how, but I do know that it happened.

If you are a Christian, I have another challenge for you.
Jesus healed the blind man, and he could see again.
Jesus healed the lame man, and he could walk again.
Jesus told us (John 14:12) that we would do even greater things than this if we have faith in Him.
How trivial it must be for Him to cure crossdressing.

Yet in all our ‘wisdom’ and power we prevent this cure. We have more faith in the incurable nature of crossdressing than we do in our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

Jesus told us (Matt 17:20) that even faith as small as a tiny seed will allow us to move mountains.
It seems it will take much less faith than that for us to cure crossdressing.
So what can you do right now?

If you believe a cure to crossdressing is right for you (see post below):
1. Ask God to cure you
2. Believe that you are being cured
3. Picture who you will be when you are cured (don’t think ‘not a crossdresser’, bring to mind those qualities of your masculinity you’ll treasure when you’re no longer a crossdresser).
4. See yourself as this person. Be this person.
5. Give thanks to God for your new life. Receive the healing.

It may take a while for the cure to manifest itself in your life. Maybe weeks, or months. Continue picturing yourself as the person you’ll be when you are cured. Continue giving thanks to God for your new life.
Don’t keep asking to be cured, you’ve asked once, just believe that you’re receiving the cure. If you keep asking, you’re expressing doubt that you’re actually being cured.

If you need encouragement or support, please leave a comment.

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