When I set out to write this article, I first started off with my earliest recollections of crossdressing, but it soon developed into a long story about my crossdressing life. As this was my first article, I asked my dear friend Andrea to take a look. She came back with many suggestions on how I could make my good article into a great one. So rather than share my not very interesting CD life story I’ve decided to focus on one little part; the story of how joining Crossdresser Heaven last year not only changed who I am, but gave Stephanie life.
I’ve been dressing on and off for over 40 years; I’m 56, but instead of the urges to dress diminishing, they’ve actually increased over the last few years. What else has changed is in how I dress. I use to be satisfied by grabbing a couple of hours, but now when I dress, I need a whole day. Last March, following such a day, which had gone quite well, I did a bit of surfing and came across the Crossdresser Heaven website. I read many of the fascinating articles and looked at some of the lovely pictures. It got me thinking that I could join some day. Over the next few months, CDH became my favourite site. I devoured the stories and dipped my toes into many of the forums. What I quickly realised was that this site was indeed a heaven; I could sense the warmth and kindness permeating throughout the site. There were so many girls seeking advice and even more offering their support, solutions, and encouragement. I knew instinctively that CDH was going to be my new home, a place where I could safely escape to, and a place where I could be my other self.
But who was I? In all these years of dressing, I hadn’t thought of myself as anything other than a guy who enjoyed dressing as a woman now and then, but since finding CDH, I knew deep down that this wasn’t the case. There was something else, someone else inside of me who wanted desperately to be set free. I decided to join CDH; I went to the registration page and hit my first challenge! I needed to provide a name and email address; I didn’t have either! It took me three days to decide on my femme name. I thought it would be simple, but soon realised that the name needed to fit my feminine personality. It had to match who I was both on the outside and inside. I decided on Stephanie; just saying the name sent goosebumps all over me. That’s how I knew it was defiantly the right choice. Now that I had my name, I quickly set up Stephanie’s new email account, and within minutes, I was a registered member with CDH. What I hadn’t bargained for was the sudden realisation that something akin to an internal earthquake had just happened. My feminine self had taken on a true identity; she was real, she was living and breathing, she had a personality, she had a name, and she was me! She is Stephanie.
I can’t stress enough that joining Crossdresser Heaven has changed my (our) lives; it has literally given me a new lease of life. I really can’t put into words the huge impact joining CDH has had on us. Up to this point, no one else has any idea that I crossdress and identify as Stephanie. I’m able to chat to other girls, share my thoughts and dreams, my worries or concerns, I can talk about everything and anything, and I can have a laugh or even cry.
THANK YOU Crossdresser Heaven for helping bring Stephanie out and into this world and also for helping me realise who I truly am. The first steps for Stephanie have been fantastic. I’m looking forward to taking further, bigger steps.
A big thank you to all my new friends, especially Andrea for all her kind help and support.
Love and hugs,
Stephanie xx
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Thank you Stephanie for that article. I too found CDH whilst surfing the web. Despite having a supportive girlfriend there are still things I feel I need to find out for myself, looking at it from a MTF prospective, and the forums here have been a massive help, whether it is through questions I post or previous posts from other ladies. Emily is still growing and will continue to grow with the help and support here and at home.
Hi Emily
Thank you for taking the time to read my article and for your comments, I marvel at how many of us across the world have such similar experiences, joining CDH has definatly been the best thing Stephanie has done. I now have such a large and loving family.
Love Stephanie x
Thank you for your article Stephanie!. I hope that being addressed by Stephanie still creates those wonderful tingles inside for you. I really love that feature about this site when you register to join, in asking you your femme name. It is a powerful device that, in someone like ourselves It takes that woman we enjoyed falling into our dressing, and gives her a reality.. the most important part.. a name. Thanks so much for sharing with us Stephanie. This site really is a slice of heaven for many of us!
Hi Carleigh
Just getting your message about my article and knowing you kindly took the time to read it brings a smile to my face.
Take care
Love Stephanie x
hello and welcome to this wonderful site C.D.H. yes in deed its a great place to join and chat with others like our self’s. thank you for the great story on your journey to cross dressing and to C.D.H. i have been x dressing for many years, started with a pair of tights for a school play and was hooked, but my x dressing went away for awhile then came back stronger. now at age 56 i have my own collection of dresses,nylons,make up,perfume, ear rings,wigs, heels and all that. wife found out years ago but will not see me… Read more »
Hi Lucinder
Thank you for your kind words and sharing your situation with your wife, my SO only recently found out that I XDresss
It’s early days I’m not pushing things but hope there will come a time when Stephanie be set free. I would try not to get down about how things are but make the most of the time you have with Lucinder, I know it’s not easy but better to have enjoyable memories rather than regrets.
Be a glass half full person.
Kindest regards
Stephanie x
Nice article Stephanie. Like you, my desire to dress is no longer satisfied with a short and furtive few minutes in a pair of stockings and heels…I have to wear something every day, and its progressed to panties and either stockings or tights, and painted toes pretty much full time, and shaved legs half the year. I joined looking for kinship and support. Hopefully we will all get what we need!
Hi Rikki
Thank you for taking the time to read my article, great to hear you manage to wear something every day, I’m not there yet but happy with how things are at the moment, but also definatly planning to allow Stephanie to grow in all ways.
Take care
Love Stephanie x
Stephanie- I had a very similar experience back in August 2015 when I joined the (then much smaller ) Crossdresser Heaven site.( I was member 131 lol). I too devoured the forums as we didn’t even HAVE chat yet-that came two months later. I have written over two dozen articles and over a hundred forum topics-including several similar “thank yous" to my sisters here for all they’ve done to help me go from a shy soul quivering in my bedroom to someone who has flown cross country in full Cyn mode. I hope at least some of what I wrote… Read more »
Hi Cyn Thank you so much for taking the time to read my article, I must say I have read many of your articles and always find them informative, funny, inspirational. In fact it was after reading one of your articles that gave me the courage to write my own. Joining CDH has been such a life changer for me probably more emotionally than physically, being able to chat to so many of the lovely ladies here is fantastic, there are so many willing to give support and advice and always non judgmental. Even though I’m still a “shy quivering… Read more »
Nice article Stephanie. 3.5 years ago, I decided to start a crossdressing blog as a way to express myself and also introspect. I was faced with the same dilemma you had, I needed a femme name and an email address. It took me 3 days to come up with a name that I felt described me. Then, when I joined CDH, I needed a girly avatar that sort of represented me, that took 2 days. Now all that feels so natural, like that’s who’ve I’ve been all these years.
Lea
Hi Lea
Thank you for reading my article, it just goes to show its not a simple thing when it comes to identifying who you really are, taking time is so important.
Take Care
Love Stephanie x
Thank you for sharing your experience in cdh I have also come along way with the help of all the people here in cdh.
Hi Toni
Thank you for taking the time to read my article. I glad CDH has also helped you on your journey.
Kindest regards
Stephanie x
What a wonderful story of a real life changed for the better. Finding the strength with encouragement from friends is like having your wings unfurled with a gentle breeze to proclaim your femme name. I found deep friendships through chat. I really needed that live connection and sisterhood that sometimes eludes written words. I’ve know for many years it was more than dressing for me. Finding CDH helped me to explore without pressure to make decisions that may not have been right for me. In fact the moderators helped keep me focused on just being me and not what someone… Read more »
Hi Cloe Thank you for your lovely comments, what you say is so true and I know what you mean when you say it eludes written words, when I plucked up the courage to write my article it started off a life story but over the days it took me to write it I really started to sense there was a different story emerging between the line I was penning! I soon realized that what I wanted to talk about was how life changing joining CDH had been to me, it really is like being born again. I love CDH… Read more »
“But who was I? In all these years of dressing, I hadn’t thought of myself as anything other than a guy who enjoyed dressing as a woman now and then, but since finding CDH, I knew deep down that this wasn’t the case. There was something else, someone else inside of me who wanted desperately to be set free." This is what I’ve been feeling too. Exactly this. It’s thrilling but scary too. For so many years I just thought I was “kinky," that I had this weird fetish for women’s underwear. But then, looking back, so many things made… Read more »
Hi Ashley
Thank you for taking the time to read my article. I agree with you 100% it’s so scary but SO exhilarating when you finally realize that Ashley is a real part of you and giving her a name really is the beginning of a new life what ever you make of it.
I also hate being put back in the closet but I try to make the most of the time I have as Stephanie, life is to short for regrets. Love life for the now and enjoy every minute you can.
Kindest regards
Love Stephanie xx
I enjoyed your story. Like you I have a stronger and stronger desire to be Femme. This is a great site for emotional support. XOX Leah
Hi Leah
Thank you for taking the time to read my article.
love Stephanie xx