When I set out to write this article, I first started off with my earliest recollections of crossdressing, but it soon developed into a long story about my crossdressing life. As this was my first article, I asked my dear friend Andrea to take a look. She came back with many suggestions on how I could make my good article into a great one. So rather than share my not very interesting CD life story I’ve decided to focus on one little part; the story of how joining Crossdresser Heaven last year not only changed who I am, but gave Stephanie life.
I’ve been dressing on and off for over 40 years; I’m 56, but instead of the urges to dress diminishing, they’ve actually increased over the last few years. What else has changed is in how I dress. I use to be satisfied by grabbing a couple of hours, but now when I dress, I need a whole day. Last March, following such a day, which had gone quite well, I did a bit of surfing and came across the Crossdresser Heaven website. I read many of the fascinating articles and looked at some of the lovely pictures. It got me thinking that I could join some day. Over the next few months, CDH became my favourite site. I devoured the stories and dipped my toes into many of the forums. What I quickly realised was that this site was indeed a heaven; I could sense the warmth and kindness permeating throughout the site. There were so many girls seeking advice and even more offering their support, solutions, and encouragement. I knew instinctively that CDH was going to be my new home, a place where I could safely escape to, and a place where I could be my other self.
But who was I? In all these years of dressing, I hadn’t thought of myself as anything other than a guy who enjoyed dressing as a woman now and then, but since finding CDH, I knew deep down that this wasn’t the case. There was something else, someone else inside of me who wanted desperately to be set free. I decided to join CDH; I went to the registration page and hit my first challenge! I needed to provide a name and email address; I didn’t have either! It took me three days to decide on my femme name. I thought it would be simple, but soon realised that the name needed to fit my feminine personality. It had to match who I was both on the outside and inside. I decided on Stephanie; just saying the name sent goosebumps all over me. That’s how I knew it was defiantly the right choice. Now that I had my name, I quickly set up Stephanie’s new email account, and within minutes, I was a registered member with CDH. What I hadn’t bargained for was the sudden realisation that something akin to an internal earthquake had just happened. My feminine self had taken on a true identity; she was real, she was living and breathing, she had a personality, she had a name, and she was me! She is Stephanie.
I can’t stress enough that joining Crossdresser Heaven has changed my (our) lives; it has literally given me a new lease of life. I really can’t put into words the huge impact joining CDH has had on us. Up to this point, no one else has any idea that I crossdress and identify as Stephanie. I’m able to chat to other girls, share my thoughts and dreams, my worries or concerns, I can talk about everything and anything, and I can have a laugh or even cry.
THANK YOU Crossdresser Heaven for helping bring Stephanie out and into this world and also for helping me realise who I truly am. The first steps for Stephanie have been fantastic. I’m looking forward to taking further, bigger steps.
A big thank you to all my new friends, especially Andrea for all her kind help and support.
Love and hugs,