I know how lucky I am to be able to grow my hair out.  From what I gather, many of you wear wigs for varied reasons. Maybe your hair grows out but is too thin to properly style, maybe your hair has receded or maybe you just prefer to wear wigs to complement your outfits.

For most of my early years up through college and the military I pretty much kept my hair very short.  Even though I was occasionally dressing up I was very closeted and had bought an inexpensive wig just to compliment whatever I decided to actually dress up with.

By then I was married and was working jobs that were not conducive to having long hair, so I kept it short. Eventually I had an office-type job that was very liberal and could care less about hair length so I took advantage and decided to let it grow out and, to my surprise, it grew very straight, thick, and very fast. Before long, my hair was lush and down to my shoulders. Taking advantage of this opportunity I also began to dress up in earnest.  My dressing became more than a desire; it became an obsession!

My wife, at first, was not bothered much by my occasional dressing and never objected to my hair length which, by then, went past my waist. Wearing it that long meant I had to figure out how to wear it up so it wouldn’t be in the way all the time so mostly it was gathered up on top of my head in a bun or a long ponytail down my back.

At first I thought taking care of my hair would be problematic. It turns out all I needed to do, besides washing and conditioning, was brush it and leave it alone.  Eventually I thought I should try and see if I could have it styled which turned out to be a challenge.  A stylist worked on it a few times and, while I liked waves and curls she commented on how stubborn my hair was to style.  My hair was stubborn and bobby pins, barrettes and other clips wouldn’t stay in.  I really couldn’t afford the bi-weekly visits to the salon so I pretty much asked my wife to give me a monthly trim and keep the length down to my shoulders.  Eventually I found ways to tame my hair and have it behave.

EnFemme

Raising my hair has caused a few stories, however.

During the time I started to let it grow my older brother teased me quite a bit.  I was defensive about it but that didn’t stop him, of course. He ran a car repair shop and I worked there for a summer helping out.  My hair was almost to my shoulders by this time and I think I was wearing just a headband to hold it in place.  One day he had me crawl under a car, for what reason I’ve forgotten. To do the job I had to get on a “creeper”, one of those low-slung, 4-wheeled carts used by mechanics to access under a car without jacking it up.  You can probably guess what happened.  Getting under was fine, but getting back out was when the drama started.  Rolling back out some of my hair got trapped in one of the wheels!  Rolling back and forth only made it worse.  I knew yelling for help would only make my brother laugh and tease me even more than usual so I did the only thing I could think of and yanked my head up far enough to rip a sizeable amount of hair out and it coiled in the wheel.  I didn’t say anything and acted normal as I rolled out.  What choice did I have?  While my brother was occupied elsewhere I managed to remove the evidence and nothing was ever said but my scalp paid a costly price. I lost about an inch and a half diameter hunk of hair!  After that I also had a few occasions of catching my blowing loose hair in the wind while rolling up my car window but I wised up and was always able to rescue myself from losing any more hair.

One year my wife and I decided to see if my hair would dread up, just for fun.  She made small braids in my hair and I wore it like that for a couple months but decided I didn’t like it and asked her to un-braid it.  It was a warm summer day so we went outside and it took about an hour to remove the rubber bands and untwist the braids.  As I shook my head around to help my hair free itself we felt a very strong and sudden shaking in the ground.  An earthquake!  We stood there, amazed, as we watched the trees and utility poles sway while we tried to stay upright.  It was over in, maybe, a minute or two.  As we were trying to gather our wits we heard a voice coming from a house across an alley behind and above us.  “You okay down there?” the neighbor asked.  We both sort of laughed and made some trite comments like “Oh yeah!” and “That was a big one!”  It wasn’t till after we went back into our house that I looked in the mirror and I realized my hair, now totally unbraided, was standing out in all directions all over my head, like a cartoon character.  It was then that I realized why the neighbors seemed so concerned. They already knew I wore my hair long and straight, so they must have thought the earthquake scared the bejesus out of me from fright.

There is one very odd thing that my hair does by itself.  I enjoy finger-combing my hair when it is down but occasionally I will feel a thick spot, like a snag, near the bottom of a single strand.  When I singled out this one hair I looked through a microscope and found that one hair tied itself into a knot about an inch or two from the bottom. I had no idea what caused it but I did a little research and subsequently found that this happens to others.  Some say that split ends can be the culprit but I rarely have those.  Or it is a result of having curly, coily hair but my hair is very straight.  I have come to not worry about how and why it happens, I just clip off the knot above the knot.

Remarkably I have noticed only a few gray hairs appearing now and then but I just ignore them.  My hair does what it wants and I have very little control over it.

Thanks for taking the time to read my hair raising article! Please take a few minutes to either send in a comment to my article or an answer to one or more of my questions posed to you below:

  • When you dress up in full up femme mode, do you wear a wig or use your own natural hair?
  • How many wigs do you own in your selections of wigs?
  • What color and length of hair do you think is the best fit for you while you’re getting your total girl on?

I look forward to your comments or answers to my questions.

Most sincerely, Mary

EnFemme

 

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Mary Contrary

Life-long but not full-time transgender female looking to meet new friends. It's more than just dressing up for me, being Mary makes me feel complete. Had I had the finances and personal freedom I would have transitioned to full-time many years ago. As it is I now have to be satisfied with picture sharing and making new friends.

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Michelle Skylar
Lady
Member
2 years ago

Hi Mary, I enjoyed reading your article. My hair is very similar, long, straight, no gray and has a mind of its own. I love, love, love the bow, it’s soooo cute. I must have one now, probably more, probably a lot more. lol

Michelle Skylar
Lady
Member
2 years ago
Reply to  Mary Contrary

It really is! I have hair bands and scrunchies, but hadn’t thought about a bow until now. Thank you sooo much!

Jenna Monroe
Lady
Member
2 years ago

Unfortunately, I need to wear a wig, balding. A CD friend told me about a store that caters to women recovering from breast cancer and the like. They sell among other things; breast forms and wigs. The two ladies there were very helpful and were not in the least put off by me being a cross dresser. They fitted me with a wig and breast forms and bra. I think they enjoyed themselves, having me try on different colours and styles. I finally decided on a mid length wig over the ears with a similar colour to my natural hair.… Read more »

Jenna Monroe
Lady
Member
2 years ago
Reply to  Mary Contrary

Thank you! They were two lovely ladies. They went above and beyond for me. They certainly fussed over me. I am still supposed to back dressed for them.

Carla Roberts
Lady
Member
2 years ago

I really enjoyed your article and I can relate to having to keep my hair short for most of my life. Having hair is wonderful and who among us doesn’t value the beautiful and natural hair we see most women enjoying. While I truly value my hair, having it can be somewhat of a curse, as experienced by women. It seems my wife is never satisfied with her hair, which in my opinion is wonderful. For girls and women, their experience with hair begins almost at birth, with Moms attending to it routinely until that are able to manage it… Read more »

Carla Roberts
Lady
Member
2 years ago
Reply to  Mary Contrary

Thank you Mary, I have been so fortunate to be able to enjoy being Carla, although mostly in my later years. I hope to see and hear more from you.
carla

Lacy Satin
Lady
Member
2 years ago

Wonderful article! Never experienced an earthquake, I can see where that would be a hair-raising experience. Lol… I’ve only recently started to let my hair grow. I couldn’t get it cut during COVIT and it grew long enough to put it into a ponytail. I was very surprised when my wife said she liked it long and didn’t want me to cut it. It’s now past my shoulders and I’m really enjoying playing with it. When I’m in fem mode I’m still wearing a wig because I haven’t mastered how to do things with my own hair and it is… Read more »

Lacy Satin
Lady
Member
2 years ago
Reply to  Mary Contrary

No, we don’t have earthquakes in the Midwest. My hair is only just past my shoulders and it does get in the way a lot. I don’t know when or if I will ever cut it. My wife says I should let it grow all the way down my back like hers. I’m still up in the air on that one. One thing I really dislike is to wear it in a man bun. I usually wear it in a ponytail. When I’m feeling feminine I will tie it with a pink hair tie. I always find it fun to… Read more »

Deborah Sullivan
Lady
Trusted Member
1 year ago

Had my hair down just below the shoulders for 10 years and so enjoyed playing with it like you Mary and wearing it in different styles. Used curlers at times for a wave and had several perms over the years including highlights. My hair stylist even pinned it up on several occasions for an updo and I adored it. The problem of course was swimming so I used a ladies swim cap with it tucked in. I loved all the different styles wearing it in a high ponytail or a bun or barrettes headbands and bows at times. Unfornately with… Read more »

Deborah Sullivan
Lady
Trusted Member
1 year ago
Reply to  Mary Contrary

Learning to sleep in curlers like me I see. good for you sweetie

Lara Muir
Baroness
Active Member
1 year ago

Hi Mary,
Some years ago I had hair halfway down my back. I got it caught in the wheel of a mechanic’s creeper once just like you described. My hair was a bit finer, so it kind of broke near the wheel, but it sure still hurt! I would still have it that length if it didn’t get so thin. It was worth the extra time, and effort every day. I loved it!
Don’t ever cut your gorgeous hair! You are beautiful!

Jasmina Lewis
Lady
Member
2 months ago

Thanks Mary, your article was amazing. I have my own hair longer than my shoulders. I have similar problem with them. Thanks for sharing

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