transgender

The Third Gender

By Vanessa Law | Published September 18, 2008 | 6 Comments

Society likes clear boundaries. Black or white. Gay or straight. Male or female. The relentless desire of society to categorize and sort. Placing each of us into nice neat boxes. People struggle mightily with the concept of a third gender. The idea that someone is in between a man and a woman. Gender society does not like to think of the transgender. In spite of this new social gender constructs are created to categorize the third gender: you’re a crossdresser or a transsexual. Yet the categories strain still, so more must be constructed: pre-op transsexual, no-op transsexual, post-op transsexual.

And on it goes, until we realize that there is no third gender. Just like there is no third race, but a spectrum of diversity that scares the gender society in it’s breadth of difference.

In this wonderful video Kit reminds us that,

“There may be as many as a million genders – just floating around waiting for the right person to snatch them up, put them on and proudly parade around in their new skin. Unrestricted by layers and identity, or limitations of society or culture or social construction. See, this new gender is a function of inner desire and genuine understanding of self to be lived.”

My thought for you today is:

There is no third gender, only gender

A beautiful melody of human diversity

–
P.S. If you enjoyed this article please subscribe to Crossdresser Heaven to receive regular updates on things that matter to the transgendered community.

6 Comments | Posted in Gender Identity | Also tagged , , , Trackback URL.

Do What You Love…

By Vanessa Law | Published August 26, 2008 | 5 Comments

For the last few weeks it seems as though the only crossdressing related activity I’ve engaged in is moving Crossdresser Heaven to a new server (phew!). I haven’t had much time to wear womens clothes, let alone write any new articles. When I sat down the other day to write another article I realized just how much I miss writing. And how much I enjoy it.

I had been letting the busy-ness of life get in the way of something I love doing. Even though I could probably have made some time, I found I was much better at making excuses – I’m too tired, I’m not inspired, nothing has happened this week worth writing about. On and on the excuses came. I was sabotaging my own enjoyment.

As I was thinking about this, I realized that we all do this in regards to crossdressing as well. My advice to you is to do what you love…

Even if you love wearing womens clothing!

We seem to find even more reasons not to crossdress. There are the all too common trio of guilt, shame and unintentional discovery. Once I moved past those, I encountered such debilitating excuses as “I feel fat” (sheesh – woman’s plus size clothing is out there if that’s really a problem). Then another favorite of mine “It’s too much work for one day / weekend”. One would think wearing woman’s clothing was a chore reserved for … well … women.

As I’m listing out all these excuses I forget how much I enjoy it. I’ve sacrificed what I love for a plethora of lousy excuses.

So girls, get out there and have some fun! Don’t stop yourself from enjoying this gift you’ve been giving!

—
P.S. If you are struggling to come to terms with your desire to crossdress, I highly recommend Helen Boyd’s book – My Husband Betty. It’s one of the best books I’ve read yet on crossdressing and the transgender experience.

5 Comments | Posted in Vanessa's Transgender Experience | Also tagged , , , , , Trackback URL.

America’s Top Transgender Model

By Vanessa Law | Published August 17, 2008 | 18 Comments

America's Transgender Top ModelIt has final happened! America’s Top Model has admitted that one of their top girls may be a transgender model. This has already provoked great interest from the main stream media and blogs across the Internet. A transgender modeling competition is nothing new, in fact tgirl models have had their own competition for many years, with the Miss International Queen beauty pageant hosting an international competition for transvestite models from around the world.

At least this time around, most media outlets are looking forward in anticipation to see how Isis fairs in the competition. The move by America’s top model has also drawn praise from the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation.

Isis, who looks like an Egyptian goddess has a good chance of taking the modeling world by storm. At least, if her current ability to strut her stuff (in the video below) is any indication.

No transgender model would be complete

Without some fox bashing. Predictably, Fox news has already derided Isis with their venom filled and ignorant coverage, using inappropriate pronouns and offensive references to her anatomy.

I wish Isis the best of luck. She has taken a courageous step, and has an opportunity to represent the transgender community in a positive light to millions of viewers.

18 Comments | Posted in Transgender News and Issues | Also tagged , , , Trackback URL.

What Sex is your brain?

By vanessa | Published March 30, 2008 | 6 Comments

I love taking the tests for gender. I’m fascinated with the prospect that someone can take seemingly basic things about my life and expression, and tell something more fundamental about who I am, that I may not even realize. Of course, with any such test there is part science, part art, and part make believe, and we should never let the results from a test determine who we are.

Some of you are probably familiar with the COGIATI test, which stands for the mouthful of ‘Combined Gender Identity and Transsexuality Inventory’ (phew). This test is targeted to Male-to-Female, Pre-Operative people, and should be used as a basis for self-examination, and to consider whether further investigation should be pursued with a qualified therapist.

At the end of the test you are categorized into one of five categories:

  1. Class 1 – Definite Male, typical of the sexual gratification-based, fetishitic transvestite
  2. Class 2 – Feminine Male, mostly sexual / fetishistic but slightly gender involved crossdresser
  3. Class 3 – Androgyne, the serious transgenderist
  4. Class 4 – Probably Transsexual, most common type of transsexual (well over 70%)
  5. Class 5 – Classic Transsexual, the rarest, early onset, ‘classic model of early research’ transsexual

Whenever I’ve taken this test, I either end up as:

  • Class 3 – Androgyne, or
  • Class 4 – Probably Transsexual

I think this shows two things: Firstly that our self perception varies over time, with our moods and our circumstances – something that is important to keep in mind for those who are contemplating a transition. Secondly, for me at least, cross dressing is more than just about feeling comfortable wearing woman’s clothes, but striving to be woman in mannerisms, behavior and thoughts. Whenever I have done this I get a sense of resonance, just as playing a chord on the piano perfectly matches two or three different notes to produce a harmonious sound.

For those who aren’t transgendered

The other day I found a great gender test on BBC, which is among one of the more scientific I’ve taken. They also allow everyone to play along, so you don’t need to be transgendered to take the test. My results are below, showing that my brain is slightly female. When my wife took the test she scored as the typical male (so perhaps we are equally yoked :) ).

What did you score? Did this match up with your expectations?

Is your brain a cross dresser or transsexual?

Before you rush off and make any big decisions based on a gender test, please heed these warnings. Have fun!

—

P.S. If you’re a woman inside,

6 Comments | Posted in Transgender Info, Vanessa's Transgender Experience | Also tagged , , , , , Trackback URL.

Counselors should be advocates for the transgendered

By vanessa | Published March 24, 2008 | Leave a comment

This is the conclusion of research done by two PhD students at the university of Oregon, who spent years studying transgender issues. They explored the issues of discrimination in the workplace and transphobia that many in the transgendered community experience. They also lament the lack of qualified counselors available for the transgendered.

I think it’s wonderful that more and more researchers are devoting time to transgendered studies. When more people examine and question pre-conceived notions they advance the state of the art in our understanding. I think this can only be a win for the transgender community, as the medical profession gains a better understanding of who we are, why we are transgendered and how best to ensure we live healthy fulfilled lives.

I poked around the Internet some, and found a few valuable resources. Naturally wikipedia has a great article, I even found an article by our local Seattle and King County health department addressing transgender health as well as this great site which covers many issues transsexuals face. If you’re confused about where on the gender spectrum you fall, this gender test is a good place to start. It will give you some thoughts, and hopefully encourage you to seek counseling if you struggle with your gender identity.

—

P.S. Don’t let your lack of self-confidence stop you from going out dressed.

Leave a comment | Posted in Transgender News and Issues | Also tagged , , , Trackback URL.

Thank You!

By vanessa | Published March 13, 2008 | 1 Comment

Thank you all for your supportive and encouraging comments. My heart is overflowing with warmth now. I realize the wonderful thing about cross dressing is that it brings the most wonderful, caring people into my life. Lisa Ann, Alicia, Lynn, April and Polly you have brought a smile to my face!

It seemed as if many of you feel the desire to be ‘femme’ – to dress and act like a woman, but still loving your male body. Lynn’s comment struck me – that she doesn’t feel split, but rather a whole, integrated person who sometimes dresses like a woman, and other times like a guy.

It seems so true that it is all about accepting yourself for who you are. There are no rules as to ‘how’ you should be transgender. Perhaps, for me, it is the ‘type A’ part of my personality that wants to do everything as well as I can. When I feel like dressing as a woman, well, I have to do it ‘all the way’.

Many times when I’m in ‘male mode’ (as it were), I find myself thinking and acting as a woman. For me, this feels comfortable and right.  Yet it does make me wonder what it would feel like to be a woman every day.

Again, thank you all for your kind words. I have been giving them a lot of thought these past few days.

Hugs,

Vanessa

1 Comment | Posted in Vanessa's Transgender Experience | Also tagged , , Trackback URL.

Living between the man I am and the girl I want to be

By vanessa | Published March 10, 2008 | 42 Comments

It feels so right. Exercising my feminine grace, sharing my soul with a friend or stranger, working on being beautiful. Becoming a woman seems like the worthiest outcome of my efforts, and whenever I think about the necessary practice and perfection to get there it lights a smile inside my soul.

Yet for all my strong desires to be a woman, I go to work on Monday without a trace of the girl within me. I do not need to suffer the sacrifice so many transsexuals make when they transition. And I wonder, is my desire for womanhood just a fantasy that amuses me in my time away from real life?

My lovely wife has been wonderfully supportive. She’s shown more support than I dreamt I would receive. Yet, she loves me for the man I am, and I know that going further down the path to womanhood would mean that I lose the most precious thing in the world to me – the relationship I have with my wife.

Somehow, it feels false for me to split my time between being a man and a woman. It feels more whole to be a man on the journey to womanhood. That even though it is slow, each step is deliberate with a well known end goal. To set such a definitive direction would mean so many things, not least of which are many uncomfortable conversations with those I love.

Don’t misunderstand my confusion – I have come to terms with being transgender – I love and accept that part of myself, along with the many other talents and gifts God has blessed me with. Yet I still struggle with how to express it in a fulfilling way. Unless I have a clear path before me, I resist the necessary practice in the feminine ways that would take me closer to being a woman. If being transgender is part time, more of a ‘hobby’ than a lifestyle for me, how can I be fulfilled?

If you are having similar struggles, dear reader, it would warm my heart to hear your story, your advice or even just your encouragement. Your comment below would be greatly appreciated.

42 Comments | Posted in Feminine Voice, Transgender News and Issues | Also tagged , , , , , Trackback URL.