Crossdresser Heaven

Fashion, makeup and body movement tips for crossdressers who want to look and feel more feminine

Tags: transgender

What's the Difference Between a Crossdresser and a Transsexual?

Published on: October 23, 2011

It’s an old joke in the transgender community that goes like this:
Q: “What’s the difference between a crossdresser and a transsexual?”
A: “Two years”

This provides some humorous levity while astutely implying a truth about transsexuals – many of them started out as crossdressers. Unfortunately, while it makes for a fun observation it doesn’t really provide any useful insights for those who are struggling with their gender identity, or for others who hear that someone they love is a crossdresser.

It’s also easy to describe the difference between a crossdresser and a transsexual by sharing the definition of each word and describing transgender terminology.

It’s more difficult to help those struggling with their gender identity determine whether they are a crossdresser or transsexual, though I’ve made such an attempt a few times.

Five days ago I had sex reassignment surgery. As someone who once considered themselves a crossdresser, and now considers herself a transsexual woman without question of doubt I feel I’m in a position to provide some valuable insight for those struggling with a similar question. It goes without saying that each person is different, and this question is best explored together with a qualified therapist, after all you’ll make life altering decisions based on what you discover.

How Do I Know if I’m a Transsexual?

You consider yourself a woman: Crossdressers enjoy being woman for a time, but still consider themselves to be a man. Many are even happy being a man, and indulging their feminine persona a few times a week or month is all they need. Even if they fantasize about being transformed into a woman, crossdressers never seriously consider this to be a long term way of life.
Transsexuals feel an intense cognitive dissonance between the genders of their mind and body. For me this manifested itself in a constant ‘mind static’ that pervaded every moment. I couldn’t enjoy the fullness of life because of a birth defect that placed me in the wrong body. For some it gets so serious that they seriously consider suicide as the only solution.
It’s about who you are, not the clothes: For many crossdressers the infatuation with the feminine revolves around their appearance. The clothes, the makeup, the impossibly high heels. Even for crossdressers who strive to blend in, it’s about being feminine. Being feminine feels good and exciting.
For transsexuals the entire experience doesn’t revolve around the accessories of gender expression. Another common refrain is, “How do you tell the transsexuals at a transgender conference?”, “They’re the ones wearing jeans”. It’s about who you are, not who you appear to be.
You take the good with the bad: Transsexuals realize that there is no escaping being a woman. No time off for good behavior. We can’t decide to be a man for a certain circumstance just because it would be easier. While we may lament the discrimination we face as women it doesn’t factor in to whether we are a woman.
Womanhood is messy reality, not an idealized fantasy: If your sole experience of womanhood is as a fantasy, then you don’t have enough information to say that you’re a transsexual. Many crossdressers only experience what they consider the ‘highlights’ of womanhood (It’s another post as to why I don’t believe these are the actual highlights). Nights out feeling sensual, or safe gatherings dressed in their finest feminine attire. The truth is that womanhood isn’t quite as clean or elegant. Many transsexual woman experienced and embraced the messy reality of womanhood before transitioning. If you’re wondering, seek out every day experiences as a woman.

Embrace Who You Are

Gender Identity isn’t a game that you win by being more feminine. The only way to win is to discover where you are on the spectrum, and accept yourself unconditionally. If you’re not a transsexual, that’s okay. If you are, that’s okay too.

I’ve shared my thoughts on how to determine whether you’re a crossdresser or transsexual. What insights have I missed? If you’re a crossdresser and firm in that knowledge, how did you come to this realization?

Do What You Love…

by Vanessa Law

Categories: Vanessa's Transgender Experience

Tags: I love wearing woman's clothing, ladies fashion, tall women's clothing, transgender, wear woman's clothes, wearing womens clothes, woman plus size clothing

Comments: 5 Comments

Published on: August 26, 2008

For the last few weeks it seems as though the only crossdressing related activity I’ve engaged in is moving Crossdresser Heaven to a new server (phew!). I haven’t had much time to wear womens clothes, let alone write any new articles. When I sat down the other day to write another article I realized just how much I miss writing. And how much I enjoy it.

I had been letting the busy-ness of life get in the way of something I love doing. Even though I could probably have made some time, I found I was much better at making excuses – I’m too tired, I’m not inspired, nothing has happened this week worth writing about. On and on the excuses came. I was sabotaging my own enjoyment.

As I was thinking about this, I realized that we all do this in regards to crossdressing as well. My advice to you is to do what you love…

Even if you love wearing womens clothing!

We seem to find even more reasons not to crossdress. There are the all too common trio of guilt, shame and unintentional discovery. Once I moved past those, I encountered such debilitating excuses as “I feel fat” (sheesh – woman’s plus size clothing is out there if that’s really a problem). Then another favorite of mine “It’s too much work for one day / weekend”. One would think wearing woman’s clothing was a chore reserved for … well … women.

As I’m listing out all these excuses I forget how much I enjoy it. I’ve sacrificed what I love for a plethora of lousy excuses.

So girls, get out there and have some fun! Don’t stop yourself from enjoying this gift you’ve been giving!

—
P.S. If you are struggling to come to terms with your desire to crossdress, I highly recommend Helen Boyd’s book – My Husband Betty. It’s one of the best books I’ve read yet on crossdressing and the transgender experience.

America's Top Transgender Model

by Vanessa Law

Categories: Transgender News and Issues

Tags: mtf model, tgirl model, transgender, transgender model, transvestite model

Comments: 16 Comments

Published on: August 17, 2008

America's Transgender Top Model It has final happened! America’s Top Model has admitted that one of their top girls may be a transgender model. This has already provoked great interest from the main stream media and blogs across the Internet. A transgender modeling competition is nothing new, in fact tgirl models have had their own competition for many years, with the Miss International Queen beauty pageant hosting an international competition for transvestite models from around the world.

At least this time around, most media outlets are looking forward in anticipation to see how Isis fairs in the competition. The move by America’s top model has also drawn praise from the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation.

Isis, who looks like an Egyptian goddess has a good chance of taking the modeling world by storm. At least, if her current ability to strut her stuff (in the video below) is any indication.

Isis Tsunamia – America’s next transgender model

No transgender model would be complete

Without some fox bashing. Predictably, Fox news has already derided Isis with their venom filled and ignorant coverage, using inappropriate pronouns and offensive references to her anatomy.

I wish Isis the best of luck. She has taken a courageous step, and has an opportunity to represent the transgender community in a positive light to millions of viewers.

What Sex is your brain?

by Vanessa Law

Categories: Transgender Info, Vanessa's Transgender Experience

Tags: crossdresser sex, crossdressing, Gender Identity, transgender, transsexual, what is my gender identity, what sex is your brain

Comments: 12 Comments

Published on: March 30, 2008

I love taking the tests for gender. I’m fascinated with the prospect that someone can take seemingly basic things about my life and expression, and tell something more fundamental about who I am, that I may not even realize. Of course, with any such test there is part science, part art, and part make believe, and we should never let the results from a test determine who we are.

Some of you are probably familiar with the COGIATI test, which stands for the mouthful of ‘Combined Gender Identity and Transsexuality Inventory’ (phew). This test is targeted to Male-to-Female, Pre-Operative people, and should be used as a basis for self-examination, and to consider whether further investigation should be pursued with a qualified therapist.

At the end of the test you are categorized into one of five categories:

Class 1 – Definite Male, typical of the sexual gratification-based, fetishitic transvestite
Class 2 – Feminine Male, mostly sexual / fetishistic but slightly gender involved crossdresser
Class 3 – Androgyne, the serious transgenderist
Class 4 – Probably Transsexual, most common type of transsexual (well over 70%)
Class 5 – Classic Transsexual, the rarest, early onset, ‘classic model of early research’ transsexual

Whenever I’ve taken this test, I either end up as:

Class 3 – Androgyne, or
Class 4 – Probably Transsexual

I think this shows two things: Firstly that our self perception varies over time, with our moods and our circumstances – something that is important to keep in mind for those who are contemplating a transition. Secondly, for me at least, cross dressing is more than just about feeling comfortable wearing woman’s clothes, but striving to be woman in mannerisms, behavior and thoughts. Whenever I have done this I get a sense of resonance, just as playing a chord on the piano perfectly matches two or three different notes to produce a harmonious sound.

For those who aren’t transgendered

The other day I found a great gender test on BBC, which is among one of the more scientific I’ve taken. They also allow everyone to play along, so you don’t need to be transgendered to take the test. My results are below, showing that my brain is slightly female. When my wife took the test she scored as the typical male (so perhaps we are equally yoked ).