It’s been over five years since my wife died, and my world changed forever. The person who I was supposed to spend the rest of my life with went away, never to return. My wife knew all about me, the wanting to dress as a woman, and she accommodated me as much as she could, ...
“The world seems a bigger place when you wear a skirt….” “That’s one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind” quoted Neil Armstrong when stepping foot onto the moon. Although not anywhere near the scientific or cultural impact, for me steppi...
More about the open door later! Last summer, I finally acquired enough courage and came out to my wife who I suspected had her suspicions over the years in regards to my secret of cross dressing. A couple of years ago, she found a receipt for the first dress I had ever bought! H...
There comes that time in your journey where you want to open up and share your feminine self with others in your normal life. Trans friends are wonderful, for sure, but you might sense that there will be something healing and transformative about sharing your secret self with you...
As I sit here in my red dress, with stockings and heels, and pretending that I’m at my job as an office secretary, I cannot help but to feel that this is an important part of me. I knew from a very early age that I was different from what I appeared to be. I started to expl...
My story is like so many other ladies. I started feeling the urge to dress at an early age. I found myself first touching and then trying on my mother and sister’s clothes. I usually felt shame, because as a child of the 60’s, this kind of behavior was taboo. I knew I...
Have you ever spent so much time focused on a project, or aspect of your life, that it feels like it is coming constantly unglued and now you are feeling an avalanche of anxiety because things aren’t working out right in this thing you’ve put so much energy into? It d...
When I`m relaxed, what do I want to do? Now (Jordan) has a different style to my other persona’s, taste. Is this natural, or is it having a “split personality?” The answer is; I’m not sure. So which is the real me? We have a vast difference in musical tast...
If you have read my prior article, “I learned something that Halloween” you will be familiar with the context of this article, when I was 5 years old (https://www.crossdresserheaven.com/i-learned-something-that-halloween/). That Halloween I became the heartbroken tu...
For nearly 15 years I have been haunted by a quote from the book and movie, “A River Runs Through It”. Every time I consider the difficult path I am on in forging a new understanding with my partner I think of these words: “Each one of us here today will at one time...
Having kept Rebecca a secret for so many years, when I retired last October I knew that it was time to give her freedom. I began by visiting Manchester in the north of England for a few days. I took more female items (clothes, makeup and shoes) than male. I was still rather secre...
The confidence I’ve gained from telling her has even led me to be able to wear these panties under my male clothes in place of my usual boxers while I’m out and about. It is hidden yes, but this has been a huge step for me.
We are all on a journey. For some, that journey is appears to be surrounded by nothing by darkness, fear, and anger. Sometimes all that is needed is for someone to be a friend - a light showing through the darkness.
Regardless of from where we come or to where we are going, there is something that we all cherish. The path to its obtainment, however, is as unique and varied as we are. For some, it often remains elusive no matter how hard they seek it. Though sometimes, it may just be a mat...
I have talked about how young I was when I first Cross Dressed at the early age of 10 before becoming a Drag Queen, also at a very early age. Between the two I am proud to admit and say out loud that they are my life and there’s nothing in this world that can change that fo...
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So where am I? Who am I? March 30, 2020
It’s always difficult knowing where to begin. The start would seem fitting, but then again, I’m unsure at how to go about doing so. What I mean; when exactly was the beginning? As you might have worked out, I’ve been a little lost, and I like my philosophy. Perh...
Permission or Notice and Modeling March 29, 2020
For the most part of my life, I have lived with a feeling inside. I was not able to identify it at first, but I just somehow felt smaller then… I am not a particularly tall person, so, I am generally shorter than most folks I stand next to, but this was different. I often felt ...
A Life Born from Moments of Pain. (Part 1) March 26, 2020
I’m going to start out by talking about how I started down this path of woman’s wear. At first, I was not like this, but was told later on that when I was between one to four years old my sister put me into a swimsuit or one of her old leotards that she’d outgro...
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